I was holding out doing this blog until I had a feel for everyone on the show, but everyone else is already blogging about it so I might as well do it now. So far, I must say, I LOVE the new twist of putting the people into couples, and I think its going to make for LOTS and LOTS of drama for the season, as thats already been proven as it hasn’t even been one week since its been on, and there has already been two bj’s given by a christian stripper bikini barista mom, someone leaving the house unexpectedly and without an explained reason, angry letters from the tards of america, porn, and a major fight (which you can watch above) that went down last night that basically included the entire house vs. that dumb slut Amanda.So here, I will discuss each person individually:

Adam: Definitely a coke head, but he has funny stories, and overall seems nice and pretty respectful. He is the one that sparked protest from organizations, when he said he would use part of his money to open a hair place for retarded people. I don’t know about yall, but I have taken many medical/biology classes, and the word retarded is frequently used, so maybe I am desensitized to it, but its really not a big deal IMHO, especially since his job is PR at a foundation working with special needs children. He will probably last a while in the game. Paired with Sheila.
Alex: Definitely not as hot as first impression seemed, and he has a completely jealous asshole behavior, my guess is that just sprouts from his insecurities from past days of being overweight. He also sometimes wears these fug ass glasses that drive me insane. He got caught up in “Fondelgate” when Amanda told everyone in the house that he tried to finger her while she was sleeping. While I still haven’t seen video from this part yet, from everyones story in the house it seems that he was tickling her back and stomach, and tried to make a move on her(she was sleeping in her bra and panties right beside him mind you, and pleased with the tickling) which she rejected, and at which point he stopped. He probably will be going home soon, since he was the first HOH and he is partnered with Amanda.

Amanda: Like gay man Josh stated, this girl really is a cunt. Everything has to be about her, and she is a brutal cocktease who wants every guy to swoon over her, and only her, while she gets to run around in booty shorts to flirt with them all. She has a way too big of a mouth, and gets her own dumbass in trouble. And while she didn’t claim rape, she insinuated it by saying Alex, her partner, made advances on her while she was sleeping. I don’t know where this dumb ho comes from(actually, I do, its Minnesota), but a guy making an advance on you is COMPLETELY different than getting raped. I did feel about .001% bad for her though, when Josh said she needed a noose to hang herself like her dad did.

Chelsia: My FAVORITE girl in the house, she seems the nicest and most sincere. Plus, she has a monroe piercing, and it doesn’t even look bad! That alone bitch nuggets is impressive. It kinda makes me wish I had one, but then again, you know that shit has got to hurt when you get it pierced. Anyways, back to the subject of Chelsia. She is also paired with one of my favorite guys in the house, James, and I think they are going to make it very far in the game.

Jacob: Jacob was from my homestate of Georgia, and god am I glad that he is out of the house! That accent, the weird metered talking….it was all just too much, and I was glad to see him go with the first Power Couple nomination. He wouldn’t have made it far in the game anyway, because the honky thought major strategic moves included pissing the entire house off in the middle of the night, and failing to call peoples(Adam mainly) bluffs. So peace out suckah!!!

James: One of my favorite guys in the house, even though his style is a little corny and too played out for my taste. Prior to big brother he was biking around the world with no money. And by biking, yes, I mean the kind with pedals. And prior to that, he uploaded video of him JO himself, which is always entertaining I guess. He was also on MTV’s Parental Control, looking way different than he does now. He also taught me what “Taint Slapping” was, and you can see it for yourself after the jump. And, if for some reason you want to see James’ dong, you can go to the site he made the video for, spyondudes.com, or you can see two pics here, and here, and just a warning, unless your boss is totally into weiners, these are probably NSFW. And if you want to see his dong in another guys mouth, go to this very NSFW link.

Jen: Gross, dumb slut who asked her boyfriend, who in another twist of the game is on another team, to stick her tampon in further(how you cant get a tampon into place on your own is beyond me, unless your vag is bigger than P Hiltons that is) and boasted that her bf is racist and doesn’t believe in interracial relationships. She also was caught having sex in the bathroom with her bf by her partner, Parker. Other infamous quotes by her include one where she is begging to give her bf a bj, saying “I will catch it” and one where she stuck her hand down his pants and exclaimed “Your balls are sweaty”. I know it may be hard to believe that a bitch could be this dumb, but she is!

Joshua: One of two token gay guys that started off in the house, he had pretty much kept to himself, until last night when he errupted on Amanda, calling her a horse faced cunt, among other things, and telling her she needed a noose to hang herself just like her father. Basically, at first, I thought his fight with Amanda was kind of funny, but then, out of nowhere, it went from being funny, to being cruel to just being flat out heinous. And anyone that can just flip a switch on moods like he did is just too fucking weird for me. Whats even creepier is that this angry gay lives near me! Ahhh! And he bragged about sleeping with over 200 people, and even admitted giving gonorhea to 8 different guys. Can we all just say NASTY much?
Matt: Obviously the hottest guy on the show, but he is such a dirtball, not to mention his horrible, nerve grating accent!!!! Examples of his assholeness: 1. After getting his first blowjob from Natalie, he told her not to get attached, like, 2 seconds after she got off his knob. 2. After getting his second bj, he bragged to the guys that he didn’t even have to kiss her. Normally, I would say if a guy wants to get his stick wet off of some bimbo for him to knock himself out, but I just feel so bad for the Natalie girl, because, she really, really, REALLY likes him, and he knows this. And even though he gives a “Don’t get attached” disclaimer, he should know that that don’t mean shit to a girl with hearts in her eyes. Him and Nat could go far, but I am sure all his shit talking and over confidence will come back to bite him in the ass.

Natalie: Okay, first things first, this bitch has got kids who are going to have to live with the fact that their mom not only gave out the first bj in big brother history, but that she gave out the first TWO bj’s of big brother history to a guy that can barely stand to be around her. She needs to get a clue and stop all the cum guzzling, because, enoughs of enough already. But what can you expect from a former stripper turned mom turned Bikini Barista?

Neil: Neil was the other half of the token gay guy couple in the house, but he is already gone due to a family emergency, which kind of sucks because at least when he was in the house Josh didn’t do much talking. However, it was brought to my attention that he is friends with, or at least partied with my arch enemy Perez Hilton. EWWW!! And might I say, the pictures are DISGUSTING, Perez looks like a giant, over fed cow who is growing mold on his head and I hate him and hope someone punches him in his big fat face. You can see the pics after the jump.

Parker: I was totally feeling Parker for like the first, I dunno, 15 hours he was in the house, because after that, he turned into a no game having, moody little girl. If he was smart, he would have used the fact that Jen and Ryan were in a relationship to his advantage, blackmailing them to vote how he wanted, etc, plus the added benefit of knowing that someone in the house was going to have your back no matter what. So seriously, what an idea not to recognize this. He better just stick to his job of being a paparazzi for TMZ, because, there is no way he is going to walk out the house with the grand prize.

Ryan: This is Jen’s boyfriend, and while he seems like a nice guy at first, even his own girlfriend said he is racist and he doesn’t believe in interracial couples, which is why he was upset with his girlfriend Jen being paired with Parker, who is black. So this guys an asshole, thats all I have to say on that.

Sharon:BOOOOOORING! So boring in fact, that its annoying. She was put in the house with her ex of 12 years, Jacob, and was evicted by Parker and Jen when the won power couple, but had the chance to come back as an individual when Neil left as a replacement partner to Josh.

Sheila: She is the oldest woman in the house, and took great offense when her partner, Adam, referred to her as “Ma”. Literally, she freaked at the fact that Adam was her partner, because he isn’t Brad Pitt hot. Which is not only insanely shallow, but just flat out rude. Sheila is quasi-famous for being a Penthouse Pet back in the day, and she actually dated Penthosue owner Bob (insert long italian last name I can’t remember here and am too lazy to look up) for 14 years. She looked pretty hot in her day, except for the massive bush she was rocking, and she still looks pretty decent. I don’t know if I would call her a milf though. She and Allison made up a lesbian alliance, but are doing a pretty crap job keeping the gig under wraps. She could go far, but she has too many mood swings, which I think could be her downfall. You can see some very BUSHY pics of Sheila back in the day here, because I refuse to upload these to my site.

Anyways, my fingers are about to fall off from typing all this shiznit, but tonight is another elimination and I can’t freaking wait!!!

Don’t forgot to click the continue reading link to see the pictures of Neil and Perez, plus the video of Nat giving an undercover BJ while people sleep nearby, and the video of James looking like a dweeb on Parental Control.

James on Parental Control

James “Taint Slapping” - NSFW

Matt getting oral sex from Natalie

Last, and definitely the least worthy, are the pics of Neil and Penis Breathed Perez:

 

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