Everyones favorite honky, BITCHney is reportedly gearing up to do a cover and photo shoot with popular mens magazine Maxim. OK! magazine is reporting that the manic celeb wants to be on the cover as soon as they can shoot her, which for us is a blessing in disguise, because with the Maxim makeover, we just might get a glimpse of the HOT BITCHney instead of the im-so-crazy-i-might-kill-you-if-you-blink BITCHney.

Really though, this is probably the best move she could make after sucking so bad. Because nothing says “I am sorry for ruining the VMA’s” like taking half nude pics. I think she should do this Maxim thing then lay low for a while, stop eating, then do Playboy. Its the only chance she has at making a comeback now.

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With his new movie “Sicko” hitting theaters this weekend, Michael Moore is set to make some cash! He will be receiving a whopping 50% of the gross profit from his movie, which could mean some serious money flow coming his way if his movie does as well as 9/11, with projections that it will do MUCH better. But he isn’t going to just sit around getting fat (no pun intended) with his money, Moore had this to say about it:

“It’s a really interesting irony for me,” Moore says of his expected financial windfall. “What it should do to me is remind me every single day that I have an even greater responsibility to do good with the success that I have been blessed with. I need to make sure that I am able to make the next film with the money that I have made on this film. The money allows me to never have to give in, never compromise. Nothing can ever be held over my head in the sense of, ‘If you don’t do this, we won’t give you your money!’ ‘Oh, wow, I guess I’ll be in really bad shape, won’t I?’ That’s an enormous bit of freedom that I have — to stay completely true to the things I believe in. But I have an even greater responsibility because I have been blessed with that great success. I challenge myself with that, constantly.”

I love this fucking slob, he is awesome, I just absolutely love him. It really is time that this healthcare BS changes, because like I have said a million times, you cant judge a nation on how it treats its high class society. You have to look and see how they treat the poverty stricken, and the criminal offenders, because only then can you see the nations true ethics. And I’m sorry, between this healthcare situation, Hurricane Katrina and the jailing system I have to say America is not place to send your weary, tired and hungry, and it most definitely is not where you should send your sick either!

Also, Michael Moore will be on Larry King Live tonight, after being bumped from his Wednesday show for Paris Hilton. He should really stick it to the old toad Larry King because getting bumped for the parole violation princess was straight up DISRESPECTFUL!!!!

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Barbara Walters decided to spill the beans on why she skipped interviewing a fresh out of jail Paris Hilton, saying:

“Look, I’ve done prison interviews before, but people like the Menendez Brothers were really important news stories. This wasn’t. And even though I’d already written my questions, when all that pay-for-play stuff happened, I suddenly felt this was not up to my standard. It . . . felt . . . sort of . . . tawdry. The whole thing somehow was beneath me. Besides, it was a no-win. If I did a tough piece and her tears started to flow, it would be, ‘Oh, there’s Barbara Walters making people cry again.’ Too soft, and I’d be criticized. [ABC] they wanted it. For them it was ratings. For me it was respect. I’m fortunately at a point in my life where I can choose what I want, and this was solely my decision. But I must tell you how classy ABC was. They didn’t try to force me or say they’d place it on Nightline, or give it to someone else to do or any of the things they could have done. They respected my decision and walked away. Some agreed with my decision, some didn’t. For me it was just a question of respect.”

Finally someone with a freaking brain in their head! While this story is surely entertaining and interesting, it is not real news, and we shouldn’t be seeing this BITCH’s face on CNN and other news channels as their main story. In case they forgot, America is in the middle of “not” being at war and being broke, you think maybe that would just be a little more interesting for real news.

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Despite rumors and promotion of a wild Las Vegas 21st birthday party Lindsay BLOWan has decided to extend her stay at the Promises treatment center and forgo her birthday bash. It is reported that she has decided to stay, and see if Lindsay Lohan will come back and replace the junkie monster that has taken over her body. Bad news is that if the junkie monster isn’t out by her 21st bday she will be forced to live the life of a wild drug/sex addict and hang out with shitty deejays forever!!!

If she is really taking things as seriously as it seems then she is back on the road to recovery and I really hope her the best in getting things sorted out! If not, I am going to have to really work on better insults…I dont know how long junkie monster can work for me.

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