Jessica “The Boringest Bitch” Alba did a spread in Latina Magazine, and while the hotness factor is way, way down, the cool meter is going through the roof.  Maybe its because I like scary movies….or maybe because I wouldn’t mind seeing Alba getting diced up Psycho style for reals.  Okay, I keed, I don’t really hope she gets diced up, and in fact, I am not even sure that someone could easily dice up another person, especially in the shower, with all the water and blood, you would just keep dropping the knife, then you would get shampoo in your eyes and be all like “AHHHH shampoo is in my eyezzzz” and there wouldn’t be a clean towel to wipe your eyes on, and what if you slipped with the knife in your hand, I mean, really,  the possibilities for something to go wrong are just endless.

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1. Did a zombie apply your makeup?
2. I thought you can’t be dying your hair when you are a preggo????

WTF is up BITCH? Besides being knocked up that is.

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She is the equivalent, weirdness wise, to Johnny Depp, unfortunately she doesn’t look as hot as he does. Instead she just looks kind of greasy and like she itches all over! I guess it was REALLY hot too because she has sweat literally rolling down her face. And looking at her hair makes you wonder what type of hair product the BITCH uses, because hair like that just doesn’t happen. You have to have a bunch of people styling it with electric toothbrushes and aquanet.

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While BITCHney was at her favorite place, the drive thru window of a fast food place, an ICP member or a juggalo attempted to scare her away from the food! Really, he was doing us all a favor! Brit has been looking great, and I would hate to see all her hard work get ruined by her fast food addiction!

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