Unfortunately, it wasn’t for charity, it was for her latest loser boyfriend, Benji Madden, who was having a “concert” there. I use that term loosely, because, I refuse to believe that douche is in a band that could actually be getting paid to make money. But anyways, Paris Hilton did manage to hand out pics of herself, and autograph them, which sounds like the Hilton fame monger we know. What even sounds more like the Parisite that we know, is her lack of knowledge of Africa, and its many countries which she displayed when asked about Africa:
I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”
Like, I know the dumb bitch is a high school dropout, but when is the last time YOU have heard of anyone talking about the country West Africa??? My guess is going to be never, considering it DOESN”T EXIST! But since the dumbass likes it so much, maybe her and her douchey boyfriend could go get lost there!
So she decided to show off her headlights!!! And the ugliest fucking shoes I have possibly ever seen. THESE shoes are NOT fashionable, and I don’t care WHO says they are, because they are NOT. Maybe when Jesus or Gladiators were alive these things were considered fly, but come on people!!!! Take a good look at these, and try to honestly tell me these things are nice, and that you wouldn’t feel like a retard chasing a boomerang wearing them.
Rumors are flying this morning about a possible Lindsay Lohan sex tape, and there is even one blurry, pixelated picture being thrown around the internet, of a girl holding a wiener in her mouth. Said picture(above) is suppose to be Lohan in a still shot of the film, that was recorded on a cell phone with her ex Calum Best, but apparently Miss Ho can’t remember it being filmed!!! From gossiprocks:
ok well remember that whole lindsay lohan callum best sex tape thing a while back.. that turned out to be bogus..untill now. apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video. Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”. i shall have this picture soon hopefully, my friend is sending me it. she said that you can see lindsay giving oral…
Common sense tells me not to ever trust a blurry picture on the internet, but come on, you just KNOW its her, this bitch goes gaga for the cock!
Jessica Alba must be the worst person to be around, because that bitch is always frowning and looking cunty. Even in these pics where she is getting her nails done, she still looks half a second away from stomping around and tearing shit up Godzilla style. Alba needs to lighten up stat, all those bad vibes are going to create one maniacal baby. Plus, what baby wants to looking into that piehole of despair she has been calling a face??? And its definitely not that she has a fug face, she just fugs it up with all her pouting and pissy antics.
And if its the papz pissing her off, the bitch needs to move to Montana, it would be a pretty win win situation. She would be paparazzi-free, and we wouldn’t have to see her just-sucked-on-a-lemon bitch face. But that will never happen, because ALL these celebs are full of shit when it comes to the papz. They could easily avoid the papz by moving to low key areas (Tom Cruise did!) but they all choose to gather in a cluster fuck we call Hollywood, that also happens to be filled with papz. Does it make since to you??? Its like moving to Mexico and bitching when you get there that people speak spanish!
A LOT of Americans hate on France, and I don’t think I ever quite understood why. My latest hypothesis is because this is what their president’s wife looks like, while ours looks like a month old bag of potatoes in a unisex suit.
You would be able to notice the greatest F-ING wallpaper of all time! I want to wallpaper my entire living room with the bunny humping paper! And Bar Rafeali ain’t looking too rough herself, but give her a break, its hard to compete with pink bunnies that are doing it.
So our girl Bitchney was out and about, and while things are improved overall, I hate this disgusting shirt. And as far as her personal life is concerned, not much has changed, she still is under a conservatorship in which her father has control of all her life essentially, she hasn’t seen her children in almost 7 weeks, and at a recent court hearing a judge shot down visitation again, even though Kfed said he was okay with it.
As long as she continues to keep a low profile though, things can only start to get better.
This is just toooooooo creepy for words! Janet Jackson recreated a pose of her brothers for the magazine Vibe, and its so eerie that it really freaks me out. Lucky for us, she also did a semi sexy one that doesn’t make you think of Michael Jackson at all!
Kim K was spotted with her massive donkey out shopping with her reality tv crew in tow. And while most of the pics are of her backside, there are a few she managed to sneak her face into, and in one of them, she is giving us a face that her boyfriend Reggie Bush, and ex Ray J, are probably all to familiar with, if ya get what I am saying.
We have seen bits and pieces of Lindsay Lohan splashed throughout tabloids as beaver and nip slips alike have been published for everyone to see, but now, officially, she has done a nudey shoot! Why now you ask? Probably because she hasn’t had a cover of a tabloid in quite some time due to bitchneymania. In what is a tribute to Marilyn Monroe, who herself posed for the same pictures decades ago, Lohan bares all through flimsy fabrics and I must say, the bitch has a SMOKING body, but she also has an infinity number of freckles!!! I know she can’t help it, but she is so freckly she looks dirty! She needs to find some SPF 200,000 and walk under an umbrella for the rest of her life, because, well, to be quite frank, her freckles are making me sick, and I would hate to see her get anymore, if thats even possible. She should also try to find whats left of her career, if thats possible as well.
After the jump is all the NSFW images I could gather, plus some of Marilyn Monroe’s pics from the original photoshoot! Lots of NIPS involved!
Paris Hilton continued celebrating her birthday this past weekend in Vegas, and what better way is there to celebrate than to draw attention to yourself by dressing up in lingerie, pretending to be a Pussycat Doll and attempting to perform a Dita Von Teese burlesque show. The thing is, her dance skills are weak(like her gene pool) and she looks like a giant, over plucked crane performing a mating dance. I mean really, the bitch is turning 27, and she still throws parties where she has to be on stage performing to be happy? BITCH this aint “Super Sweet Sixteen”!
Also make sure to check in on the HOTTTTT ass action in this pic, and this one too. SUPER HOTTTT!
UPDATE: VIDEO of the horrible event after the jump!
Britney was out and about showing off her new weave, or, atleast, her newly washed weave (give me a break people, its valentines day and the stories are slooooooow coming today) and besides looking pissed off(she does have a million reasons to be mad), she actually looked good! The makeup, the hair, the clothes plus an emotion other than “fucking crazy” are all really working for her. Although, you do have to wonder if she is this pissed off, what type of behavior we might be in store for, when Monday, her father is removed as the conservator of her estate.
I can’t wait to find out which Bitchney we will get….
UPDATE: A judge today extended Jamie Spears(Brit’s dad) conservatorship over her estate until March 10. Just when I thought crazy Bitchney was going to get to come out and play!
Proud mama Christina Aguilera is on the cover of People this week, debuting the latest edition of her family, baby Max Liron. And she looks happy. And thats about all the interesting things I can say about these pics, because, new babies are boring, all they do is just lie there and they all look like little shriveled up raisins of people and to be frank, I really don’t like them. Not just Max, ALL babies, except for the awesome ones.
Two of hollywood’s hottest, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson graced the cover of W magazine it a funky, goth type of photo shoot.
Both bitches look hot, but who looks the hottest??? Usually I prefer blondes, but I think Portman looks super sexy in these pics. Plus, Scarlett has a disgusting multicolored arm tattoo that makes me barf.
I must say, Amy Winehouse is coming around in leaps and bounds! She was photo’d on an outing in London looking pretty, which is awesome, because, just a few weeks ago she was looking that this.
And in other awesome Amy Winehouse news, the bitch got her teeth fixed and looks a bajillion x 10 ^ 1000 better. Yay for rehab Amy. Boo crackhead Amy.
Instead of breaking these stories about everyones favorite whore bag into multiple stories, I have combined it into one post, as I couldn’t think of any more titles for stories making fun of this cunt. First, let me grace you with video of Paris Hilton singing her non-hit song “Stars are Blind” while she struggles to keep her boobies in her dress(yes, even Paris Hilton’s boobs are big enough to fall out of something).
Any complaints about the quality of the video need to be directed to Paris Hilton, as I feel she is the only thing bringing the quality of the video down.Then, it was her 80’s themed birthday party, where she showed up looking like a misguided 12 year old surfer boy who has gotten into his mothers makeup and pantyhose. But not to be topped off as looking like the biggest idiot at her own birthday, her own publicist, Elliot Mintz, showed up looking like a oompa loompa type of mofo, which begs the question: why the fuck would you leave your house looking like that? And, how tha fuck does something like that even happen? Also, lets LOL at the fact Paris is with Brittny Gastineau, star of one of the worst reality shows of all time.
Last but not least, lets take a moment to recognize Hilton for the lying superficial bitch she really is. When she was released from jail, we all heard her talking about how life changing it was, and how she was soon going to start a women’s program for female convicts leaving jail that was to act as a pseudo half way house and help them get on their feet. Since then however, she has done NADA that she said she would, but she did find the time to launch her new shoe line which she debuted at Macy’s today(pics below), plus new perfumes, a jewelry line and a new clothing line. Glad to see her priorities are in order. And glad to see she really keeps her word. And no, these pictures do not make feet look larger than they appear.
THIS is how a female with class looks leaving the bar as opposed to the other image of drunk girls sluts being pulled from clubs stumbling with vomit in their hair. And I must add that I am quite impressed with Ivanka in these pics, because, even with the most ill fitting shapeless coat(but somehow, its still a nice coat) I have ever seen, you can tell she pretty freaking hot.
In the worst movie to be made since Jessica Simpson’s “Blonde Ambition” , Paris Hilton and former Step-by-Step cutie Christine Lakin star as mismatched friends, with Paris Hilton supposedly being very hot, and Christine looking like a geico caveman in the new movie “The Hottie and The Nottie”. But now that the movie has wrapped, and Paris isn’t standing beside someone who has been made to look fug, its hard to tell who the real hottie, and nottie is!Well, okay I lied, its actually not that hard to tell at all. One looks like a diseased, over cooked, and over dressed version of Big Bird, and one looks like that hot neighbor girl you use to live next door too. And, yes, according to wikipedia, the movie had a $9 million dollar budget, so I included the trailer, so you can see what $9 million dollars going down the drain looks like. I also included pics of both of them so you can pick which hottie is for you!
Rolling Stone is obviously doing a big feature on Ms. Bitchney, and here are some random excerpts from it according to the NY post:
About Plastic Surgery
She had her breasts enlarged as a teenager, but later … “regretted the implants, particularly because her chest was still growing,” the magazine reports. “And when her natural breasts became larger, she had the implants removed.” Spears has always denied she was surgically enhanced.
When she had credit card trouble at Betsey Johnson
Then she ducks into the dressing room with (Adnan) Ghalib. He emerges with her black Am Ex.
The card won’t go through, but they keep trying it.
“Please,” begs Ghalib, “get this done quickly.”
One of the girls runs to Britney’s dressing room, explaining the situation through a pink gauze curtain.
A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member’s deathbed. “Fuck these bitches,” screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. “These idiots can’t do anything right!”
Ghalib dashes over to console her, but she’s already spitting, growling, throwing a big bottle of soda on the floor so that it begins to spill underneath the curtain, and then she’s got a box of tissues and is throwing them on top of the wet floor along with piles of discarded merchandise. A new card finally goes through, but by then Britney is out the door, leaving her shirt on the ground and replacing it with the red top. “Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger. “Leave us alone!” yells Ghalib.
(One girl catches up to ask for a picture) “Um, I’m from the South too,” she mumbles, “and I was wondering if I could get a picture with you for my little sister.”
Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm. “I don’t want her talking to me!” she screams. She whirls around and stares the girl deep in the eyes, her lips almost vibrating with anger. “I don’t know who you think I am, bitch,” she snarls, “but I’m not that person.”
And just in case you haven’t got sick of Bitchney yet, Blender decided to do a cover with Spears on it, without actually having her there. Using a body double(obviously) and the wonders of photoshop, they created a cover, that features her face, on someone elses body. Which demonstrates what a shitty, useless mag Blender is. I mean, they resorted to using a body double and editing, that’s just pathetic, at least buy one of a pap and use it. But I use to get that shit magazine for free, but it started taking up too much room in the trashcan so I had to cancel my subscription. Anyways, without anymore ado, the fake cover Blender concocted in an attempt to sell magazines:
Even though I think this cover is the biggest bullshit scam to sell mags ever, I think the cigarette mouse ears and red bull are a nice touch.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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