I don’t know if the BITCH is trying to go to jail or what, but between all her allegations of drug and child abuse, the last thing this BITCH really needed was another court case. But thats what she got, because on August 6, she hit a parked van, got out and looked at her car, then just walked away. She didn’t even take the time to look at the van she had hit, or to write a letter of any sorts. And she didn’t have a valid license at the time. So now queen BITCHney is facing a hit and run charge causing property damage and one count of driving without a valid California license. Both are misdemeanor’s, so the BITCH-ster should be able to get off with fines, but both penalties could result in up to a year in jail.
YUP! You are reading/seeing this shit correctly. I don’t know why, or how these got released yet, but I do know that, according to X17, that is Oscar De La Hoya and he is most definitely wearing a fishnet body stocking. And high heels, boy shorts, and boxing gloves. These pictures have MAJOR scandal written all over them, especially since he is married. But from the looks of these those hotel rooms can sure get lonely. And I don’t think its something as simple as he is cheating with another woman and he put her clothes on because those high heels fit just a little too perfect if you ask me.
So until I get an update on why this guy is in fishnets and panties, enjoy looking at one of the most well known figures in boxing right now as he gets in touch with his softer side. Much softer side.
Two more XXX-rated pics after the jump of Mini De La Hoya coming out to play a.k.a. don’t click unless you want to see his dong.
The VMA’s were almost a week ago, and it just seems miss BITCHney (and her cousin) can’t get past it. Alli Simms, best known for being related to Spears, had this to say about Sarah:
“She’s mean…MEAN. She’ll have kids one day and she won’t appreciate that crap.â€
BOO-freaking-HOO!
I dont really know what the point she is trying to make is, unless having kids makes you instantly lose your sense of humor, and turn into a bitter old BITCH who can’t even laugh at their own life. Because, really, there is nothing funnier than making fun of kids, especially because a good percent of kids born were probably mistakes, or at least an accident! And just because they are born mistakes, doesn’t mean they will be a mistake forever, sometimes parents get lucky and their mistake goes on to make them lots and lots of money, a la Lynne and Jamie Spears, even if it is at the cost of their own sanity.
Us magazine is reporting that BITCHney, after her performance, had a meltdown backstage. Why you ask? Because she could see herself on different monitors during her performance and supposedly it caused her to flip out, Us magazine says:
No one was more shocked watching Britney Spears’ performance at MTV’s Video Music Awards in Las Vegas on Sunday night than the 25-year-old popstar herself.
“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,†a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.â€
Yeah, I would feel bad for her, but after this embarrassing thing happened, she just went out and embarrassed herself even more. She needs to just hire me to be her leash handler, because lord knows this BITCH needs to be on short ass leash. And did she really need to say “fat pig” because pigs are already fat, so its kind of redundant.
With as much shit as I give BITCHney Spears, I was really hoping she would wow us at the VMA’s, but the BITCH didn’t! In fact, it was HORRIBLE. I have seen strippers put more thought into their stage show than BITCHney. And already the story is being turned around. Because, you know, its definitely not HER fault that her show sucked so bad, and here are the many, many excuses her and her few remaining fans have come up with:
1. Sarah Silverman - supposedly BITCHney heard her practicing her routine, specifically the part where she says that BITCHney’s kids are the “cutest mistakes” and said they were as cute as the vayjayjay that they came out of, and this threw BITCHney off her game. But, funny BITCH and awesome person altogether, Sarah Silverman denied BITCHney could have even heard it, because she never rehearsed any of her jokes there, and she went on after BITCHney committed career suicide.
2. Her Manager - Its the same guy responsible for driving Kelly Clarkson’s newest album straight into the ground.
3. MTV - They didn’t let her do her original show that included Criss Angel helping plan it, so she wasn’t very enthusiastic about and just didn’t try hard.
4. Her Booze - During rehearsals the drunk BITCH was drinking margaritas, and went out clubbing the night before, and the night after.
The only one of those options that make any type of sense at all is number 4, but I am pretty sure thats not right either because booze makes people dance like assholes, not brain dead slut moms. I think it more likely is a heavy dose of xanax and paxil mixed with booze that made her seem so dumb. OR….maybe she is just the dumb redneck BITCH we all thought she turned into.
And if you want a REALLY good laugh, just head over to BITCHney Spears fansite, BreatheHeavy.com, and read all these idiot-tards supporting BITCHney and hating on Sarah Silverman. Then I recommend you sign up and tell them why it was all BITCHney’s fault that she sucked.
Ohh, and if you really thought BITCHney’s crotch shots were all accidents, well she flashed it again after the VMA’s, in what I am guessing is, a pathetic cheap shot at getting attention.
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After the jump is the semi-NSFW pic of BITCHney flashing her beaver!!! (more…)
Chef Gordon Ramsey a.k.a. the chef from Hell’s Kitchen who cusses a lot, got into a cooking related accident when he let his bit and pieces get to close to what he was cooking. He told The Sun in an interview:
“The other day I was standing too close to the stove when I was cooking. I was wearing these cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando, suddenly, I felt this searing heat. I went, ‘F**k me, bollocks to that.’” Bollocks, indeed. Ramsay painted an even clearer horrible mental picture by saying, “I burnt my right bollock and I’m in absolute agony … You wouldn’t believe how much this hurts.”
They need to make special wiener aprons or something, because, this just sounds awful. But I guess if he is going commando, he probably wouldn’t take the time to wear a wiener apron either.
Yup, you read that title correctly! Now just try and read it again without tears of laughter running down your face. I can’t think of anyone, besides Britney Spears and Chris Benoit, that would be a worse parent, yet in the new U.K. Elle, Paris is talking about reproducing:
On what people think about her
“I wanna have like a family and a guy. Y’know, it just upsets me because I’m not anything like what people say about me, and this cartoon character that they’ve made of me is just completely false. It makes me mad that I’m such a good person and I’m treated like that by some people, I just don’t get it.â€
On how she’s prepping for pregnancy
“I just started working out and it feels great. It gives me so much energy. I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.â€
On her future baby daddy
“I used to care about looks, but I’ve grown out of that stage. They have to be a good person, someone I know would be a good husband, loyal and funny and smart. And somebody I can trust, with good chemistry. But I don’t know, I like a guy who can make me laugh.â€
I must say, with her being a high school drop out and all, I am actually surprised this BITCH doesn’t have as many kids as she does dogs, but I guess we can count that as a small miracle. Whats amusing though is the fact that she actually believes that she doesn’t act like a grade A slut and blames other people for painting this awful picture of herself, because, you know, its everyone else’s fault that she can’t wear panties and records all of her sexual escapades. I don’t even know how this BITCH says half the shit she says without laughing at herself. Its just ridiculous and pathetic. I mean, this BITCH has more pictures of her crotch than all of the Playboy and Hustler archives combined, yet she still says thats not how she really is??? All I can say is yeahhhhh riiiiiight BITCH, we all knows you are a ho-skee!
So a bunch of BITCHney’s new songs leaked, and while they are not THAT bad, they are pretty shitty and predictable to say the least. Her voice is over produced, with too many sound effects to count and can someone please tell me why she is ALWAYS talking and giggling in the background. The worse of the three that leaked is a bad blues rendition, with…gasp! BITCHney singing in a non-techno effected voice! Fortunately for BITCHney though, her blind fan base will hail these songs as the greatest music of all time, and maybe, after months of brainwashing, I will be tapping my feet to the beat too. But I doubt it.
Watching BITCHney Spears, it appears that she is in some silent competition with the mirror to see who can be the biggest whore look a like, but then I remember, this is BITCHney Spears we are talking about people, and she actually is a WHORE! I mean, how else can you explain these not sexy at all but pretty disgusting shots of her attempting to pole dance for her new music video??? She reminds me of the girl thats at every party you go to who is always completely wasted and dancing like she thinks she is the hottest BITCH there even though she has vomit in her hair, is super sweaty and doesn’t even realize she is missing a shoe.
p.s. glad to see BITCHney is such a fan of recycling, like those skanky ass holey fishnets she salvaged from a strippers trashcan.
DAMN!!! Faith Hill is bout it bout it when it comes to her man! At a concert in Lafayette, LA an over zealous BITCH grabbed Tim’s crotch, spurring Faith to say:
“Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don’t go grabbin’ somebody else’s — somebody’s husband’s balls, you understand me? That’s very disrespectful.”
How bad would you hate being the stupid BITCH that was just grabbing up on his nuts right in front of Faith? I bet she never thought she would be getting called out in front of everybody. But kudos to Faith for defending her mans balls, and putting silly BITCHES in their place.
p.s. I love this BITCH’S dress in this video, except when she squats down and looks like a human tent.
BWHAHAHAHA I am going to be laughing about this for DAYS!!! This BITCH just doesn’t fall, she flys down the stairs on her face! My guess is when she was swinging all that weave it just got too heavy and she was pulled down by it! But thats what happens when you have more fake hair on your head than all the drag queens in America. I also would like to think of it as god’s punishment for buying a freaking $45,000 purse. Because, no matter how dumb she looks slip n sliding on her face, she looks even more dumb walking around with a purse that looks like it was sewn together by an eclectic crackhead and costs the price of a car.
But props to the BITCH for going on with the show, I would have pouted like a lil BITCH because falling is only funny when it happens to other people.
Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but BITCHney dressed herself like a $2 hooker again! You would think she would have ran out of the shittiest clothes on earth by now, but nope, the fug outfits keep coming. And you know this BITCH has to see these paparazzi shots of her looking like a fug monster, so why doesn’t she do something about it? I know why! Because BITCHney is trashy through and through and loves the attention she is getting! But soon enough she will learn, contrary to what most people say, all publicity is NOT good publicity.
Also, lets take a moment to reflect in silence about BITCHney’s other dogs, which are obviously being replaced by a new dog. Soon I bet she is going to do a kid swap as well!!
Do you all remember that womens housing Paris was going to build for people recently released from jail????? Well, this has NOTHING to do with that, probably because the BITCH hasn’t mentioned it since her interview, but what she did do since her interview was go to the bars, dance on the couches and smoke some greenery, Page Six and People report:
“Paris was super happy and full of smiles,” says one clubgoer. “She was laughing, having fun, drinking, dancing, singing along to songs, talking to everyone and hugging all the girls at her table.”
“She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face,”
Was anyone surprised reading this? I know I wasn’t!!! But what did surprise me is her giant, stuffed cleavage. We all saw pics of the BITCH in Hawaii, and to put it kindly….THE BITCH IS FLAT!!! So she must have a super-gravity-defying-boob-creating bra ever.
I would also like to point out the fact that her nose job turned out nicely, its so much more BITCH instead of WITCH now. I can’t say the same about those fug ass lace gloves she is wearing.
And in even more SHOCKING news Paris has officially spread herpes to the world!!! I knew we shouldn’t have let the BITCH go to Hawaii!!! Read Here…
But we all know the BITCH isn’t! She sent a letter to X17 apologizing for the incident where she attacked a photographer and a car with an umbrella with her head shaved. Inside the mistakenly spelled letter, BITCHney tries to be sarcastic and take stabs at Kevin, and if it was suppose to make her look better, then she failed miserably. The letter reads:
Dear x17
I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn’t play his part so they swap places. Unfortunatly I didn’t get the part. I’m sorry I got alil carried away with my role!
Britney
Actually, BITCHney I think you did get the part! You have completely switched places with Kfed, because at one point you were considered the good parent whereas now thats Kevin. I just didn’t realize the “role” meant you had to act trashier than him! In fact, I didn’t even realize “trashier than Kfe” existed, but I’ll be damned if you didn’t just go and prove it!
I think I will call this correlation “BITCHney’s theory of relative trashiness”.
When BITCHney unveiled her new hair, or hair piece, or weave or whatever the hell that thing on her head is the only thing I could think of was the upcoming show “The Search for the Next Elvira” auditions that are being held. What other look could she be going for? Red lipstick and raven hair are not a good look for her, but when does anything she wear look good on her? And why does her hair start so far back, she aint Naomi Campbell!!! BITCHney looking like old Britney is about as likely to happen as a success in Iraq. Both are just not gonna happen, and as sad as it is, I think we should call things like we see it and to be frank about it, BITCHney’s comeback and the war in Iraq are both big ol’ failures!!!
Australia has officially kicked John Stamos a.k.a. Uncle Jesse out of the country after he did two media appearances while being completely smashed. Rumor is that he spent a lot of time at a strip club in Sydney the night before, hence the hungover hobo look. He already admitted to being jet lagged and drunk, but with excuses like that he might end up in rehab. And while its pretty crazy to see Uncle Jesse plastered, its even crazier that you can actually be kicked out of a country for being too drunk during interviews.
And this just taught me how to travel the world by simply buying one way tickets: I will just travel to my place of interest and enjoy my stay, then when I am ready to come home I just need to convince someone that I am somebody they should interview, get wasted, do the interview and BAM! I’m on my way home, with money in my pocket! BOOYAH BITCHES!
With just about half a day keeping her from the real world, it looks like the heiress may be coming home to a mess! Hilarious vandals tagged a wall in front of her house with “Parisexposed.com” (just in case you BITCH nuggets cant figure out what the graffiti says) which is better knowns as the site that put up all her personal shit that she left in an unpaid storage unit. At the site you can see awesome things like her herpes prescription, sex tapes, a guy covered in blow, Paris Hilton hooking up with fellow incarcerate and Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis. Or you can just see it here for free!
It was reported earlier this week that rich BITCH Paris Hilton would be getting a cool $1 mil for doing her first televised interview out of the pokey with NBC. TMZ reported that the news station had already started briefing employees, even giving the interview a not so secret code name of “Rome”. Now, the story is changing! I guess NBC was embarrassed over the bad publicity of giving her a mil, especially since they have a policy of not paying for interviews!
Either way, I bet someone is gonna get fired over this!! I mean, what idiot was authorizing a million dollar transaction to interview Paris??? NBC needs to get with it, because everyone knows Paris gives it ALL up for free!
I got the chance to watch these guys, and I got to say I freaking love them!! That one guy is who would be created if Austin Powers and Mick Jagger had a baby! Those crazy New Zealanders!!!
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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