But we all know the BITCH isn’t! She sent a letter to X17 apologizing for the incident where she attacked a photographer and a car with an umbrella with her head shaved. Inside the mistakenly spelled letter, BITCHney tries to be sarcastic and take stabs at Kevin, and if it was suppose to make her look better, then she failed miserably. The letter reads:
Dear x17
I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn’t play his part so they swap places. Unfortunatly I didn’t get the part. I’m sorry I got alil carried away with my role!
Britney
Actually, BITCHney I think you did get the part! You have completely switched places with Kfed, because at one point you were considered the good parent whereas now thats Kevin. I just didn’t realize the “role” meant you had to act trashier than him! In fact, I didn’t even realize “trashier than Kfe” existed, but I’ll be damned if you didn’t just go and prove it!
I think I will call this correlation “BITCHney’s theory of relative trashiness”.
Not that this is surprising or anything, but reports are coming out about Jessica Simpson’s latest movie, Blonde Ambition, and none of them are good! It has already been pushed back once, but now it doesn’t even have a release date. Gatecrasher reports:
Sources say her manager dad has pushed back the release date twice because the movie is no good.
“First, the release date was set for Aug. 3, and then it was delayed until the last week of August,” says an insider. “Papa Joe then intervened and said he wasn’t comfortable with the level of competition from other films that month.”
Another source says: “Jessica was not very focused on-set and flubbed her lines often. She always had her dog around, was on the phone with [then-] boyfriend John Mayer or was sitting in a warmed-up SUV.”
The source said the film, which is still incomplete, is currently without a firm release date.
Poor Jess, no man, no movie and no marriage….shit is looking bleak!
Wow, after watching that interview last night I am surprised I still have brain cells that are choosing to operate. I know it HAD to be Larry Kings low point in life, and I couldn’t help but laugh when they would show the upcoming Thursday show, which features Colin Powell with the title of “The state of the US and world”, which is much better suited for Larry King programming. Its hilarious to me that they would even invite her on the show, and you think with 23 days to prepare Hilton would have something smart to say, but nope, nothing. In fact I only heard LIES and dumb shit. Like when asked about what she disliked the most about herself and she answered “When I am nervous my voice gets really high.” Thats deep, REALLY deep, and honest to god she said it with a straight face. I think that alone is a testament to how much the BITCH has changed. When asked if she has ever used drugs or been addicted to drugs, she said no of course, but we all know thats a lie, as you can see in these lovely videos:
What I dont understand is why Larry let her get away with so much…like when she denied doing drugs, why didn’t he just play these videos? I mean, its not like I have exclusive rights to these, they are pretty much all over the freaking internet. I would like to think Larry knew this interview was a gimmick and didn’t put to much into it, but come on, the guy kept saying ADT instead of ADD. And I almost choked on a taquito when I heard her say that her favorite subject is creative writing, since she is a drop out and her heiress book says intelligent things like “never wake up before 10″, and her notes from jail sounded like a bad philosophy paper by a third grader who thinks philosophy is a company owned by Pillsbury. With written work like that though, the BITCH might just be our modern day Dr. Seuss!!!
If you have some extra time and would like some good laughs I have the entire Larry King show with Paris after the jump! (more…)
We have heard complaints from Cameron Diaz about the paparazzi circling the Hilton home, but now more neighbors are joining in on the anti-Paris campaign and asking that the star leave their once quite neighborhood and give them some peace! This flyer has been passed around to the neighbors, and legal counsel is being sought:
The BITCH’s neighbors even hate her, but talk about kicking a dog(or BITCH) when they are down! I would feel bad for most people, but since Paris Hilton doesn’t have a soul it’s just plain funny! I wonder if moving houses is going to cause a delay in the post lockup bash thats being planned in Vegas? I hope not because I can’t wait to see this BITCH partying and up to her old tricks again!! And by tricks, I mean turning tricks….for free…on defenseless people.
I am sorry, but fans, you must realize that all these times BITCHney is exposing herself is not an accident! You could not possibly have that many wardrobe malfunctions in your entire life. I want an explanation to how this even happens, why is she taking her dress off in front of the paparazzi?
BITCHney is up to her old tricks of reaching her fan base via weird messages on her official site. This time she is asking that her fans help her to choose the name for her upcoming album. And in true BITCHney fashion she puts up a bunch of ridiculous things and I am embarrassed for her! So I will list the possible titles, why they wont work and what she should name it instead:
1. OMG is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like < --uhmm in case you forget BITCHney, Lohan even released a CD more recently than you, and even though she has a coke habit, your fast food and baby habit is much, much more severe. Maybe "OMG Lindsay Lohan has a more stable working career than me" would be a better title.
2. What if the Joke is on You < --Wrong again BITCHney, because we can all clearly see Kfed put the joke on you! She should try "Oh Shit, is my entire life a PUNK'D episode?" instead.
3. Down boy < -- I can only assume she is talking about her kids here, so maybe "Where the f*ck is the nanny???" is more appropriate!
4. Integrity < -- Pretty funny considering she doesn't have any of this, and I am pretty sure you can't buy it at Wal Mart or Target. She should try the title "Desperate for a comeback".
5. Dignity < -- Does it get any more funny than this?? Can you actually imagine BITCHney having an album called dignity?? "Look at my daily crotch shots" is much more realistic.
Honestly, this is too easy to make fun of!!! Where is her friends and managers to save her from herself??? She reminds me of this song:
OOOhhhh got to love these juicy gossip mills! If this is true, Kfed is going to have more kids than albums sold! Star Magazine reports:
“Shar wants to tell Kevin, but she keeps getting cold feet! She’s really scared of what he’ll say – if he’ll be excited or furious. She said, ‘What if he doesn’t want another kid?’ After all with her two, and Brit’s two, he’s got his hands full already! It would be Shar’s dream for them to get married and have another baby. She’d love to be living the family life with Kevin.â€
What the hell is wrong with that BITCH though?? He left you for Honky Spears while you were pregnant!!! Why would you ever go back to that? Get some self respect and birth control! I mean, why is she letting this guy have wiener free stick ins??? Thats how you get knocked up!
UPDATE: Shar is denying all this, saying “It is not even remotely true.†…but I still kind of believe it! People always lie about being preggers!!!
Leave it to Paris Hilton to spend more state money than any other inmate. Since she is pretending she has severe medical issues, she has to be kept in the special medical ward, which costs $1109.78 a day versus the normal costs of $99.64. Now if she really needed the medical assistance that badly while in jail, she would need it outside of jail as well. But we all know what Paris does when she is not in jail, and its not cry and not eat, its party and booze! And I must say, if she is medically this bad off, I don’t think daddy Hilton should be planning a release party in Las Vegas but instead needs to subsequently enroll her into a psychiatric ward. Because really, if she has to have this much medical aid to get through the jail visit she has serious other issues that need to be addressed. Mary Tiedemen, Director of the ACLU, whatever the hell that means, said this about the condition a prisoner needs to be in before getting into the medical ward:
Mary Tiedeman, who monitors jails for the ACLU, told the AP Hilton is being housed in an area usually reserved for high-security inmates or those with severe health problems: “I don’t know what her health issue is, but you have got to have a pretty intense medical or mental health problem to be in that part of the jail.”
And even Rick and Kathy Hilton gave a tidbit about their daughter’s “awful” stint in jail, stating:
“She’s very scared…..It’s tough in there. It’s cold.”
Out of everything to complain about, such as the fungi outbreak the jail has experienced, they complain about it being cold??? I am sorry, but if the worse thing you can complain about in jail is it being to cold, I think you are going to be okay. I highly doubt that is the main complaint of the normal peasant prisoners.
So fans of Paris…..is the BITCH really crazy and needs to medical attention or is she just faking?? Not that being one or the other makes it better, either she is crazy or a liar so which is it??? Let me know….
Yes, these are the same pictures from earlier, but I failed to notice something quite peculiar! In one of these pictures BITCHney’s dress is on the right way, and in the next its on backwards. I am not sure how that happens, unless you are like the girl from the exorcist and can turn your head completely around, which would really explain a lot about BITCHney!
Its a sad sad world when a mother of two and millionaire can’t even keep their clothes on properly for a whole night.
In a collect call placed to Barbara Walters on Sunday, Paris talked about her past behavior and how she wishes to change it. ABC reports:
“I used to act dumb,” she told Walters in the exclusive phone conversation. “That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. … God has given me this new chance.” Hilton confirmed to Walters just how terrible her initial three days in jail were. It might explain why she cried when she was handcuffed and transported back to jail from her Hollywood home. “I was not eating or sleeping,” she said. “I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage. … It was a horrible experience.”
Well, I guess the BITCH didn’t decide to act smart during this interview.
Most people do feel depressed when they go to jail, I don’t know anyone who is ever excited about that. And as far as feeling like you are in a cage while you are in jail, NO SHIT! It is a cage you dumb BITCH! What did she think it would feel like? A room at the Palms or the Hilton???
This is EXACTLY how I picture all the people who defend Paris Hilton to look like! I love how serious they all look….. SERIOUSLY HUNGRY!! But really, this picture makes fun of itself. First there is only three people, and they look like they scribbled out those save Paris messages with their eyes closed(or maybe a hoagie in there mouth!).
There really is a God and he has answered my prayers! Super skanky Paris Hilton was ordered today to go back to jail after her short house arrest hiatus. The judge must be a super hero or something, impervious to her skank appeal and money! After the sentencing Paris was heard screaming “It’s not fair!!!” and “Mom!” which is kind of funny because just earlier this week she said this:
“I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes.â€
and
“This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence.â€
But I guess she didn’t really mean those prepared statements from her lawyers, because when the judge said she would have to serve out the remainder of her sentence, 18 days(23 days minus the 5 she has served) she cried like the little BITCH she is. But fortunately for the rest of us, the herpes covered boozer is safely behind bars where she belongs!
Speaking about the status of her mental health, the sheriff said this:
“This lady has some severe problems.”….”I can’t trust her tenuous status,”
Unfortunately for us her lawyer is already preparing her appeal, pleading habeus corpus, which means something like illegal holding of the body and she will be spending the weekend in the medical ward of the jail….my guess is because the high risk of a full blown herpes pandemic!
This video came up in conversation today so I thought it might need a repost, and mainly because I think Jay Z is a tremendous douche bag. I really cant stand the guy, and this is just another example of what a BITCH he really is, because you know he would never do that to any guy. I wonder if this is how he treats Beyonce on the low???
I am not quite sure why this is surprising, but a humorless Paris Hilton was heard back stage talking about award show host Sarah Silverman, and didn’t have anything too nice to say:
“She’s a fucking bitch. I hate her.”
This is what I am talking about, Paris Hilton is not a funny BITCH at all. If this was Nicole Richie she would be laughing, but not uppity rich BITCH Paris. She is only pissed because the entire theater laughed for ten minutes at her expense, while she tried to hold back tears. If I was Paris, I would be so embarrassed that I would just check into jail early…….oh wait, thats what the crybaby BITCH did!!! hahahaha
Even though I am not quite sure if Nicky Hilton knows what the word absurd means, I do, however, know for sure that she is one dumb BITCH! Nicky told People the following:
“I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd,”
How should they punish her then? Suspend her license? Oh wait….they did that, and she got caught driving on a suspended license TWICE. Absurd is her only going to jail for 23 days, when most people would be doing much longer jail stints. I really think Nicky is even more dumb than Paris, because anytime you defend someone for drunk driving you pretty much have to be a retard.
DAMN!!! That car got fucked up! I like how Lindsay Blowhans first reaction was to run out of the car, you know, instead of backing it off the sidewalk like any person with two brain cells would do. But in her coked up state she probably thought she was parked in front of the 4 seasons or at her dealers house. The real issue I have with this video isn’t with the crazy coked up BITCH behind the wheel driving, its her loser ass friends! No wonder her life, and career, are both going down the drain. I think Paris Hilton was a better influence on her than these scummy looking fake emo’s.
No matter what this BITCH says, everyone can sense from a mile away what sister Donna Hogan is trying to do with this book about Anna Nicole! She is a gold digging BITCH and it is pretty obvious from her interviews that she is about as sharp as a marble:
“It pisses me off when people say I’m making money off her. I was offered fortunes to tell on her. I was there when she did liposuction in the ’90s. I have pictures of her lipo. Even though I needed money bad, I never sold her out.”
When asked about why she wrote the book and why it went against her sister:
“Because I was hurt. Because it’s closure for me. Because now she’s gone, and things about her upsetted me. She was selfish. I always respected her, and she always disrespected me. I was struggling. I had to live in a shelter to protect my three kids and I never asked her for nothing. She had four houses and never offered me one to stay in. I bought her a Marilyn Monroe doll and she never bought me a thing. She’d take people who worked for her on shopping sprees to Rodeo Drive and never bring my kids anything.
She never once offered me money. Except to try and take my little girl from me. See, even after she had Danny she wanted a girl child desperately. She offered me thousands, but only if I’d give up my baby daughter to her which, of course, I wouldn’t.”
On what they had in common:
“Well, yeah, I’ve done drugs . . . we’ve both had a wild crazy life . . . both had affairs with women . . . three-way sex . . . kids without husbands . . . and I’m now kind of living with someone . . . And, like her, I worked gentlemen’s clubs. I waitressed. There’s perverts who just want you to get drunk with them. So I’d sit and drink. You could make $2,000 a night.
Someone needs to do the world a favor and just choke this BITCH out! She really is nothing more than parasitic scum, and I really hope she gets bad karma for writing such a nasty book with the intent of getting rich off of it.
We all know this BITCH loves to drink and drug, but she was officially busted for it, when after a late night of partying at club Les Deux, the drugged starlet hit a curb with her Mercedes, receiving minor injuries to her chest at 5:30 AM. She and her friends left the scene, and the car, and she almost got away, but a nosy neighbor placed a 911 call about a car that had been in an accident. By the time cops tracked Lohan down, she was being treated at a hospital, and it was there she was placed under arrest.
What really makes the case an issue for Lohan is the fact that the star had a good amount of cocaine stashed in the the car, which is really no surprise since video stills of the star snorting coke in a bathroom were leaked by a friend recently.
Another key point of interest is the fact that Lohan is only 20, and can’t even legally drink yet! This arrest is sure to put a damper on her upcoming 21st birthday party, which was suppose to be sponsored by Svedka vodka. Due to the bad publicity Lohan has brought onto herself, however, they were forced to reevaluate their sponsorship and decided against sponsoring the coke BITCH’s birthday.
The really sad part about all this is the fact that she had the chance to ditch her drugs before the cops even came, but she was too dumb to even think of that and just left them at the scene of an accident. What a dumb little drugged up BITCH! Perhaps she can share a cell with Paris! Possible charges she could face include DUI, fleeing the scene of an accident, drug possession and underaged drinking!
BITCHney’s comeback tour started out full of hope and promise, and now its been reduced to bad choreography, bad lip syncing and even worse hair extensions! Her latest show in Miami was no different! The mainly gay audience was not pleased at all, and Page Six reports:
The crowd, full of “trannies and gay guys,” according to our spy, sneered at “those hideous white go-go boots and ratty extensions.” One particularly unimpressed audience member: Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone, who told our source, “My sister would never go onstage looking like that.”
But really who is surprised? BITCHney needs to get her shit together, and hire somebody that can handle all this for her because on her own she fails!
Former lead singer of Creed, Scott Stapp was arrested Tuesday following a frantic 911 called placed by his wife, were she alleged that he threw a bottle of Orangina at her head when she asked him if he was on drugs after coming home at 8 in the morning. This is not the first time the lame rocker has battled with his personal demons, he has continually battled with alcohol and violence in his past. For real though, Creed was never cool and neither was this guy and he was probably upset because no one recognizes him or cares anymore.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
