Unfortunately, it wasn’t for charity, it was for her latest loser boyfriend, Benji Madden, who was having a “concert” there. I use that term loosely, because, I refuse to believe that douche is in a band that could actually be getting paid to make money. But anyways, Paris Hilton did manage to hand out pics of herself, and autograph them, which sounds like the Hilton fame monger we know. What even sounds more like the Parisite that we know, is her lack of knowledge of Africa, and its many countries which she displayed when asked about Africa:
I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”
Like, I know the dumb bitch is a high school dropout, but when is the last time YOU have heard of anyone talking about the country West Africa??? My guess is going to be never, considering it DOESN”T EXIST!   But since the dumbass likes it so much, maybe her and her douchey boyfriend could go get lost there!
I have really been avoiding stories on this dumb slut, because, well, she isn’t really famous for anything other than bad porns and even worse movies. But this week she tried to pull a stunt where she pretended to be walking around hollywood with a shaman, and “gave” a diamond necklace away to a stranger under his direction, and commented on how he “changed her life”. TMZ, however, quickly reported the shaman was a FAKE! Well, actually, he is an actor, who has been in POTC and other movies that I am to lazy to go look up.
Anyways, with a little more investigation, it came out that the whole thing is a sham put on for a new Ashton Kutcher show that is suppose to punk the paparazzi and media outlets. But, considering the media figured out the truth, before the show even stood a chance, I would have to say it completely FAILS!
Plus, they fucked up big time by trying to get the P-Herp-Hizzle to “act” religious and kind, because, we all know that:
a) da bitch cant act
b) this money hording whore would NEVER give away a diamond necklace she bought with her grandpa’s hard earned money!
On the real though, heres to hoping this bitch chokes on a truffle or something!
Paris Hilton continued celebrating her birthday this past weekend in Vegas, and what better way is there to celebrate than to draw attention to yourself by dressing up in lingerie, pretending to be a Pussycat Doll and attempting to perform a Dita Von Teese burlesque show. The thing is, her dance skills are weak(like her gene pool) and she looks like a giant, over plucked crane performing a mating dance. I mean really, the bitch is turning 27, and she still throws parties where she has to be on stage performing to be happy? BITCH this aint “Super Sweet Sixteen”!
Also make sure to check in on the HOTTTTT ass action in this pic, and this one too. SUPER HOTTTT!
UPDATE: VIDEO of the horrible event after the jump!
Its no secret that Paris Hilton is the worst pet owner ever, receiving letters from Peta and officially being named worst celebrity dog owner by not one, but TWO dog magazines, but now she has crossed the bad pet keeping line over into felines. According to the Kris Kelly Foundation, Paris dropped the cat off to be neutered, and never returned to pick it up:
TMZ has learned that Miss P adopted the puddy tat — which she named Prada — at the Kris Kelly Foundation last May, about a week before she headed to Lynwood Jail. After Paris was released, we’re told she knew she had to have Prada neutered, but didn’t get around to it until a few weeks ago, on January 30.
But here’s the problem — nobody came back for Prada! About a week later, Kris Kelly herself called Paris to find out what happened, but she still hasn’t heard back as to what to do with Paris’ pussy.
Paris’ people say this is nothing to meow about. The cat was to be dropped off to be neutered and then delivered to one of Paris’ peeps. That apparently hasn’t happened yet. But Kris tells us that it’s “a clear-cut case of abandonment” (no pun intended, we think) and has decided not to return the cat.
But the story gets even better, because, now Paris’ people claim that it was a publicity stunt by angered foundation owner Kris Kelly because Paris was suppose to do charity work with the organization, which, she of course never did.
Paris Hilton abandoning her cat??? NO WAY! Paris Hilton lying about doing charity work???? NO-FUCKING-WAY!
Today, Barron Hilton, better known as Paris Hilton’s 18 year old brother, was arrested today for DRUNK DRIVING! Barron was arrested around 8:30 this morning at a 76 gas station. While driving recklessly through the parking lot he allegedly struck an employee named Fernando in the leg with his black Mercedes, leaving him with bruises, and although he remained at work, he gave this recount of the mornings happenings, according to TMZ:
Fernando (he did not want to give his last name), who works at the 76 station on Pacific Coast Highway and Corral Canyon, tells TMZ he was working as the cashier, taking inventory of the pumps when he saw Barron’s car driving the wrong way on PCH. Fernando and Paul, a mechanic at the station, say they saw a grey Nissan pickup with two guys inside following Barron’s Mercedes. Fernando and Paul say Barron pulled into their station and began driving wildly in circles.
Fernando says he was standing at one of the pumps when Barron’s car struck his leg. Fernando says the impact threw him over the pump and caused bruises.
Fernando adds when Barron came to a stop, the two guys in a Nissan jumped out and grabbed the keys in Barron’s car, so he couldn’t continue driving. Fernando says the two guys told him that Barron hit their car earlier, and Fernando saw a dent on the left side of the Nissan.
According to a Sheriff’s Department press release, a female in Barron’s car may have been driving at the time of the collision, and then Barron took the wheel.
Barron managed to clock in at a .14, which is nearly double the legal .08 limit - for 21 year olds, but the fact that he is only 18 means no matter what he blew, he was going to get a DUI.
He is currently still being held on $20,000 bail, which sister Paris refused to pay when she received a call from him this morning. Although still incarcerated, he is expected to be released from the Lost Hills Sheriff’s Station any minute.
If ANYONE says they were surprised by this, they must be a tard because, apparently, this family is looser with the booze than an alcoholic on New Years. These Hilton heirs are nothing short of spoiled, self centered failures(as people of course, because, somethafuckhow these idiots manage to keep raking in the money on the business side of things).
UPDATE Barrons friends showed up to bail him out, expecting to only pay 10% of the bail, but the idiots didn’t realize they needed to take that money to a bondsmen, NOT to the jail itself. What a bunch of rich twerps. So probably after all this bullshitting, he will be out soon.
UPDATE 2 Barron just made bail and has officially left lockdown. I just can’t wait to start hearing the spins and bullshit apologies that are sure to come!
Instead of breaking these stories about everyones favorite whore bag into multiple stories, I have combined it into one post, as I couldn’t think of any more titles for stories making fun of this cunt. First, let me grace you with video of Paris Hilton singing her non-hit song “Stars are Blind” while she struggles to keep her boobies in her dress(yes, even Paris Hilton’s boobs are big enough to fall out of something).
Any complaints about the quality of the video need to be directed to Paris Hilton, as I feel she is the only thing bringing the quality of the video down.Then, it was her 80’s themed birthday party, where she showed up looking like a misguided 12 year old surfer boy who has gotten into his mothers makeup and pantyhose. But not to be topped off as looking like the biggest idiot at her own birthday, her own publicist, Elliot Mintz, showed up looking like a oompa loompa type of mofo, which begs the question: why the fuck would you leave your house looking like that? And, how tha fuck does something like that even happen? Also, lets LOL at the fact Paris is with Brittny Gastineau, star of one of the worst reality shows of all time.
Last but not least, lets take a moment to recognize Hilton for the lying superficial bitch she really is. When she was released from jail, we all heard her talking about how life changing it was, and how she was soon going to start a women’s program for female convicts leaving jail that was to act as a pseudo half way house and help them get on their feet. Since then however, she has done NADA that she said she would, but she did find the time to launch her new shoe line which she debuted at Macy’s today(pics below), plus new perfumes, a jewelry line and a new clothing line. Glad to see her priorities are in order. And glad to see she really keeps her word. And no, these pictures do not make feet look larger than they appear.
Just like I, and anyone else with a brain, predicted, Paris Hilton’s latest movie was a box office bomb. Fantasy Moguls has the direct breakdown of numbers:
The final count will show that the critically reviled comedy featuring the seemingly talentless Hilton has sold a meager $25,500 in tickets at 111 locations over the weekend. That’s only $230 per screen for theaters that were convinced to book this disaster. That means that, based on an $8 average ticket price, 29 paying customers showed up at each location over the 3-day period.
LMFAO at this dumb bitch really trying to be a movie star. She needs to stick to what she knows works for her: PORN! Its the fall back career of many actress/models and since she isn’t really either of those, I think its time she gets back on the grind (literally) in the porn business.
In the worst movie to be made since Jessica Simpson’s “Blonde Ambition” , Paris Hilton and former Step-by-Step cutie Christine Lakin star as mismatched friends, with Paris Hilton supposedly being very hot, and Christine looking like a geico caveman in the new movie “The Hottie and The Nottie”. But now that the movie has wrapped, and Paris isn’t standing beside someone who has been made to look fug, its hard to tell who the real hottie, and nottie is!Well, okay I lied, its actually not that hard to tell at all. One looks like a diseased, over cooked, and over dressed version of Big Bird, and one looks like that hot neighbor girl you use to live next door too. And, yes, according to wikipedia, the movie had a $9 million dollar budget, so I included the trailer, so you can see what $9 million dollars going down the drain looks like. I also included pics of both of them so you can pick which hottie is for you!
Shanna Moakler, like a lot of the sane world, has no love for Paris Hilton, and took to her myspace blog to “heir” out a little dirty laundry:
“A woman is like a teabag, only in hot water do you realize how strong she is”
Current mood: betrayed
Im gonna TRY to make this short and sweet….
I am VERY far from where I would like to be in my career, I’m from a small town in the smallest state, I’ve started working as a teen model and lived in every city and beat the streets in every town, taking every audition, I modeled, I did pageants I took every meeting I could, I’ve been rejected 1000 times and I never gave up…I took every one liner, bit part I could, I didn’t have my daddy’s name or some hollywood connection, I worked my ass off, and no I may not be in the A list, but I have drive and conviction and ambition… and I wont ever stop trying to be involved in projects that I enjoy and get the opportunity’s that allow me to show what it is I strive to do…
I grew up watching musicals with talents such as Ann Miller and Fred Astaire and that is the sole reason I moved across the country to this city with the dream to be a part of this industry.
with that said,
never in all my life, if I thought for one second with all that I have done, (and I am actually proud of what I have accomplished), did I ever think having a confrontation with a whore in a club or the complete heartbreaking ups and downs of my marriage which sadly have to play out in front on the public, would take center stage from what it is I actually LOVE doing…
it makes me fucking sick and sad….. thatthe reality is having a sex tape and letting men piss on you, getting dui’s , flashing your crotch and going to jail is apparently today, the image young men and woman strive for to get their foot in the door… thats not talent and it sure doesn’t deserve fame. I mean thats the message i see everyday in my TV, in my papers, on my radios…
The blog keeps going, but you get the idea….blah, blah, blah, Paris Hilton is a dirty whore who slept with her husband, blah, blah, blah. But what she said about the image of young Hollywood as cock crazed bitches is pretty damn accurate, and I must say, if some skanky, parents-are-rich-but-im-useless bitch who thought she was actually famous for something was sleeping with my husband, I wouldn’t be nearly as nice as Shanna is being. I would claw her fucking eyes out and laugh, but thats why they call me THB.
But it is funny that she decides to blog when rumors are hitting the net that her and Travis Barker are done this time, FOR REAL. Guess sitting at home moping, turned into bitching and blogging. Girl needs to realize for real that Travis Barker isn’t looking for a wife, he is looking for groupie bitches to pass around, and I am sorry, once you pop out a few kids and get over thirty, you just don’t fall into the ideal range of what a groupie is. So she needs to just let him go gather all the STD’s he wants from the hollywood hookers, while she sits back and stacks those alimony checks.
The rest of her blog is after the jump if you wish to read it, its not very long, but she does take the time to dis Perez, which is always awesome.
Yup. Thats right. At HARVARD. But fortunately, I think those kids are too smart not to be doing this as a backhand compliment and are really going to mock her. And just for fun, here are some other peoples classic responses to this:
 I’d rather see the Green River Killer honored than this whore. Or Hitler. Or the Devil. At least they had some initiative, some oomph and “can do” spirit.
Awww!
This has got to be a joke award that she paid to get. The title of her “movie” should be, “Dumber, Dumberer, and Sluttier”. Piss on harvard for letting the STD ridden, lazy eyed, gapping cooze bimbo step on campus.
harvard is the new yale
haha nah the best part is that she prolly a) has no clue what lampoon means and b) thinks this is a serious award
Harvard Lampoon Magazine is ‘awarding’ her Woman of the Year… Word:lampoon Function: noun a harsh satire usually directed against an individual
Guess I am not the only one who thinks she is a useless twat. And who else bets this is the closest that Paris will come to getting educated ever in her life?
Because it looks to me like tha bitch is just trying to make sex faces. But I guess its good to see her actually doing a “job” as opposed to her other job of dancing in nightclubs, getting sloshed and lying about it. And she brought the weave back and ditched the blue contacts. In my mind those are ALL improvements, because while I thought I liked her fake hair free best, she looks better with the length of weave she’s got right now.
And if you look at the enlarged pics, especially the second thumbnail, be sure to check out her new lip job! They are poof-tastic. But, I guess when you know your lips are going to be doing lots of “services” its better to over inflate.
Then this is THE video for you!!! Paris Hilton can be seen exiting a SUV then immediately falling down to the ground. My guess is she probably tripped over her balls.
And I am sorry for posting TWO Paris videos today, but if you run your virus check, I *think* your computer will be okay.
Its just too bad the only thing she is contributing is STD’s!!! In this video, the Herpes Hilton tells the crowd that they are so hot she just wants to “fuck them all”, but what the dumb bitch didn’t realize is, she probably already has!!!
And the fact that she was with her newest friend from the show “The L Word”, Danielle Sea, rumors are swirling that Paris Hilton is a box muncher!!! But we already proved that, didn’t we??? (NSFW link!)
Glad to see she is accomplishing TONS with her life. To be almost 30 and be so utterly useless must leave her with a a gaping hole of emptiness the same size as her gine-stein.
I am sure most of you are familiar with the saying “If a tree falls down in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?”, well Paris has her own saying:
 If a slut flashes her vagina in a bar for the bazillionth time and no one cares, will she still be a wanna-be-famous smelly cunt?
Paris Hilton was spotted out walking the streets looking like a deranged lady of the night after going to Hollywood hot spot Hyde while trying to hide her black eye. Which I would like to say was given by me while trying to knock this bitches two brain cells closer together.
Unfortunately I was not responsible, and while no one is taking claim for putting the smack down on her, its probably a mushroom stamp from one of her cohorts with random pizza guys.
And if she did actually get punched in the dome, I vote we nominate the puncher for a medal of honor, and make a national holiday of their birthday.
p.s. I really like the fake ass look of those blue contacts, it makes her seem so natural!
You would think Paris Hilton learned from her DUI and stint in jail, but apparently not. The self proclaimed non-drinker launched her own line of canned sparkling wine, which just has CLASSY written all over it. In fact, its the same trashy drink that got her booted from Oktoberfest.
Then, on top of it all, she posed in nothing but gold body paint for the Rich Water Foundation, which focuses on outsourcing water from glaciers to places where they are suffering from drought. Which is nice, if you hate the environment!
Outsourcing water from glaciers is not only expensive, its impractical! It is cheaper to set up filtration for oceanic water, plus, oceans cover most of the planet, while glaciers happen to be in the most cold, hard to reach places. Plus, with glacier depletion rapidly increasing, the last thing we need to go and do is source water from a place that is practically untouched by man and is already suffering from global warming.
But I will give her some props for bringing any attention to the water shortage problems, even if it seems like the bitch is only there for bringing attention once again to her naked body and booze problems.
Or is the politically correct term small people? Anyways, Paris was out partying like usual, when an unruly crowd at the nightclub Cameo ended up pushing a small person who was in full oompa loompa makeup into a metal structure that resulted in his leg being cut. Paris, graciously interrupted her partying to help:
“Paris screamed for help and jumped up to move everyone away from him,” says our witness. “She held Robin’s hand and said the sweetest things to keep him calm. She stayed with him until he was safely in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.”
Unfortunately, the oompa loompa later died from complications arising from the worse case of herpes the world has ever saw and Paris Hilton is now wanted for detainment before she becomes a public hazard.
Okay, okay, I joke. The oompa loompa is alive and well for all I know, but at least the kids in Rwanda know what they need to do to get her to come visit! All they need to do is throw a party, tell Paris she is headlining, and then paint themselves like oompa loompas and start lacerating themselves.
UPDATE: Here is a picture of Big Bird standing over the oompa loompa and looking concerned. And by concerned, I mean giant and fug. I mean, just look at that jutting chin and nose, I don’t even think a jewish mother could love that beak.
For the last couple of weeks, Paris Hilton has been linked to pizza boy Alex Vaggo, who she “discovered” and helped propel into a modeling career. She even bought him to meet the parents (left pic) but apparently that doesn’t mean crap because she was caught getting frisky with her hand on the crotch of ex-lover Stavros Niarchos(right pic). And rumor is she spent the entire week in Miami in a shared room with him…..Vaggo is going to be pissed! He spent all this time bringing the bitch pizza, getting herpes and even meeting the parents just to be left with nothing. My guess is his bank account wasn’t big enough to special order Paris’ size 40 designer pumps.
Unfortunately today we have been blessed with another story pertaining to the herpes heir, but at least this one focuses on her bad parents instead of her bad behavior. Village Peoples’ own cowboy went on record to the New York Daily news saying that he was partying mighty hard with Rick and Kathy Hilton:
In 1977, [Jones] found himself sharing a table at Studio 54 with two people he recalls as being Paris’ parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton. “There was one rock of cocaine left, and it rolled off the table,” he said. “They just didn’t even bother bringing it back up to a hard surface — they just crushed it into the carpet and snorted it off that.” Jones explained, “Whatever Paris Hilton is, she came by it honestly!”
I am not surprised AT ALL, Paris has looked like a crackbaby from the start.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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betrayed
 
