Okay, remember when I said everyone was pregnant?? Well know everyone is going to be going from being preggo, to having annoying infants! The first one to pop out her baby jr. was Nicole Richie, who had a little girl named Harlow. Yes, its name is really Harlow. People Magazine reports:
Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz.
“The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents,” says the rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.
And the baby news isn’t over yet, because on Saturday, Christina Aguilera and her hubby, Jordan Bratman, delivered their baby as well:
“Christina and Jordan are proud to announce the birth of their son Max Liron Bratman. He is a beautiful, healthy baby boy!” a rep for the two parents confirmed. “Mom is resting and doing well!”
So congratulations to these two now non pregnant bitches!!! Now all we have to look forward to is seeing how quickly they rebound after the pregnancy. I say there is a 50/50 chance one ends up like BITCHney.
We all knew this was coming, the rumors have been circulating FOREVER!! But finally Nicole and bf Joel sat down for an interview with Diane Sawyer herself to talk about being preggo and her DUI’s:
“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months.”
and
“I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would,….And unfortunately I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”
So what the hell does that mean???? We are not going to get to see her screaming and throwing a fit in the courtroom like Paris? No conniving the guards to set her free? She wants to pay her dues and not make a big deal out of it??? BOO YOU BITCH! Haven’t you learned from Paris you have got to act like a complete twat so every news station will talk about you instead of something important?
But really, how many of you vote for the judge to order Paris Hilton to serve Nicole’s time for her? THAT would be much more entertaining. Nicole is going to handle it fine, same with having a baby, because she is simply a thousand times smarter than that dumb BITCH Hilton. And just think, in five more months there is going to be a mini-BITCH in the mix, which is going to be awesomeness, I just know it. It will funny to see how things turn out. It’s also going to be really funny to see skinny BITCH Nicole walking around preggo!!!
The interview will air on Thursday and Friday, so watch it if you have nothing better to do BITCHES!
After a shit-tastic season of The Simple Life on E!, the network has decided NOT to renew the show for another season. Probably because the show was complete shit, and had to have more takes than a Lord of the Rings movie. Last night I was trying to watch the new episode, and even with tivo, it was too hard to watch. The show use to be funny, before Paris thought she was a celebrity and before they started re-shooting scenes, making fake romances and providing scripts.
So congratulations to E! for cutting that BITCH Paris off the air, but too bad Nicole has to be on the sinking ship with her! That BITCH is actually funny.
Oh, and don’t worry Parisites, the show might have a chance of getting picked up by another network, but don’t hold your breath. Actually, please do.
Nicole is due in court today, facing charges for her second DUI. She is expected to plead guilty or no contest, which will automatically get her a minimum of five days under California law. I am going to put my money on this BITCH pleading guilty, because I mean, what idiot gets out of a car and admits to the cops that they just finished popping pills and smoking out?!?!? It just doesn’t make sense to snitch on yourself like that at all, and I bet if she would have said the magical word “lawyer” at the scene of the crime instead of singing like a canary on herself she wouldn’t even be worrying about having her baby in jail or not. It’s just as well that she does go to jail for this because she is all types of doubled down dumb, because really, really now, who drives on the freeway in the wrong direction and admits to using drugs right there to arresting officers? I know who!!! One super dumb BITCH!!!
But wish the BITCH a little bit of luck, because she might get off sentencing because her first DUI was alcohol related, and the second one for pills and other substances. How nice. The laws in America are really quite hysterical.
UPDATE: The BITCH got four days, and credit for a day for spending six hours in jail when she got busted!!!
Funny, preggo BITCH Nicole Richie got lucky today when an LA Judge approved an extension for her looming court date that was originally set for today. She faces DUI charges stemming from an incident where she was stoned and pill f*cked and driving on the wrong side of the highway. Her extended court date, granted because her Doctor expert is vacationing, will be on August 16. Her witness will be testifying against the legitimacy of a drug test administered to Nicole by officers on the scene.
It was all funny and hilarious when Paris went to jail, but lets hope Nicole just gets a slap on the wrists….I think 5 days would be enough!!
Pretty much everyone but Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have confirmed that she is pregnant!!! Which is cute and all, but its just too bad that she got knocked up by Joel because he is a giant tool! TMZ reports:
The starlet has been dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden for over six months. Rumors have been swirling for months that Richie and Madden were expecting, but TMZ has confirmed through several sources that she is, in fact, with child. In Touch magazine is also reporting that the couple will wed this summer. Richie is currently facing DUI charges stemming from her arrest last December, when she was found driving the wrong way on a California highway.
Richie’s trial is set for July 11. If convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in jail.
Sure I should be making jokes about how she is too skinny to be with child, but she is about to be fat so I am going to go ahead and jump on that band wagon instead, so here goes: HAHAHAH NICOLE RICHIE IS LIKE SUCH A FAT BITCH!!! See how it works?? Already funnier than making fun of her for being to skinny. Plus the upside to her getting married while pregnant is that she will be chub and she wont look like Steven Tyler’s mike stand with a veil on!
According to Page Six, a close friend friend of Nicole Richie revealed that the BITCH is indeed pregnant, saying:
“Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail,” the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and “wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues.”
You know, people have babies for lots of reasons like they want a family or they are stupidly trying to save a relationship, but this, hands down, has got to be the best reason to have a baby EVER! I wonder if she conceived while DWI(Doin’ it While Intoxicated)??? I bet soo…thats just how she rolls.
Nicole Richie threw a party over the memorial day weekend, and she sent out the best invitations I have ever seen in my life:
From: Nicole Richie < xxxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.xxx > To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party Date: Thu 24 Ma 2007 04:29:29 +0000
My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!
Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210
There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!
Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of who’s coming. Thanks
This is why Nicole Richie is at least a million times funnier than Paris Hilton. And while a lot of people are trying to say that it isn’t funny because she is laughing and mocking her own eating disorder I, for one, think its awesome. It’s BITCHiness at it’s best!!!
Well she is still crying about the whole thing that happened, and really she seams believable. She seems to be particularly upset about a text message Nicole Richie sent her, saying:
“Are you ok? I know you have nothing, but jesus fucking christ. Are you so desperate for new clothes you’re willing to file a police report to get some? I’ll go to goodwill for you, pick out a nice pair of pants for you to wear and split them open because you’re so fucking huge. If you’re going to do drugs, at least have something to show for it. Lose some damn pounds and get a life. You’re fucking delusional and pathetic and embarassing. Next time you write Lindsay you’ll be dealing with the wrath of me. Consider this a warning.
- Nicole Richie. p.s. blow a horn.”
HAHAHAH, and that my friends is why Nicole Richie happens to be one of my favorite BITCHES in Hollywood!!!
During taping for The Simple Life, Nicole Richie explained a little bit about male pleasure zones, and even though she is drawing on this guys ass and balls, she still is just a minor slut compared to mega slut Paris Hilton. But at least we know why Joel Madden dumped Hilary Duff!
I don’t know if its just me or what, but I would probably never ever wear that to a zoo, ever, but since I like Nicole Richie I could care less what she wears. She is the cutest skinny girl ever, so I am not sure what she is doing with this chump hanging off of her face. I vote that all these hollywood BITCHES stand up for themselves and start dating people who are not complete tool bags.
I am so glad these girls use their time and money for such good causes, like buying over priced glasses in fugly clothes. They are really teaching young girls to be so productive and to really accomplish big things with their lives! I am so glad we have such awesome BITCHES to look up to!
Star Magazine is reporting that Lindsay Lohan stole about $10,000 dollars worth of merchandise from her former friend, model Lauren Hastings, home!
Supposedly, Lohan stopped by Hastings house to pick up some clothes she had left there, and when she got there Hastings was out of town on a shoot, but a mutual friend was house sitting. The friend felt fine letting Lohan in, and didn’t think twice when the starlet and her bodyguard left with arms full of designer clothes and accessories.
Shit hit the fan though when the model came home the next day and realized she had been BAMBOOZLED! She immediately texted Lohan asking for the clothes back or she was calling the cops. But Lohan was at a bar(surprise!) with Nicole Richie and Sam Ronson and they all thought it was hysterical! Lindsay even told her she was delusional and said they were not stolen because the clothes were hers. Even Nicole Richie got in on it, and sent text messages saying they would return the clothes all cut up because she was fat, and that she would be sorry if she involved the cops!
This story has got to be too funny to be true, but if I ever see that Lohan BITCH around my purse I will slap her in the face!
But none looked like a bigger A-hole than Drew Lachey, and thats a fact. Others that made appearances were a sober Tara Reid, Nicole Richie and Michelle Rodriguez.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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