I have been out of the loop on posting this, but to just sum it up New York governor Elliot Spitzer was busted for spending over $80k on a prostitute named Ashley Alexandra Dupre.  Then Hustler and Girls Gone Wild, hoping to feature her in their new magazine,  both offered a million dollars to Ashley in the hopes of getting her naked for their pages.  BUT recently(and FINALLY) released from jail GGW owner, Joe Francis, hit the nudey pay dirt when he found old footage of her already getting naked and all kinds of shit in the Girls Gone Wild archives.

So this prostitute bitch effed her chances at a million dollars by getting on a bus a couple years ago and getting all freaky deaky for a tshirt or a hat.  It is rumored she has enough footage for SEVEN tapes, including some girl on girl footage.  You know she is at home feeling like the dumbest bitch on the planet!!!  Joe Francis had this to say about his previous offer of a mil, and finding the new footage:

“It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”
He said his employees got to work on pulling the footage and planned to offer it on the Web site by Tuesday evening, with a free sampling on the front page and the rest available with a $29.95 monthly subscription.

Speaking of Joe Francis, he is looking surprisingly hot, or perhaps its just the ex inmate vibe thats so sexy, I really don’t know, but these feelings are causing me to have mixed emotions and the last thing I need on spring break is to have a mental breakdown over the fact my brain can’t comprehend Joe Francis and the word “hot” in a sentence together. (see below picture for evidence of said hotness)

Share This

OPEN LETTER WAR!!!! In response to the open letter written to him by Candy Spelling, who he doesn’t know at all:

Dear Candy:

I don’t know you, I have never met you and I don’t know anything about you. After reading your letter posted on the internet, my mental picture of you is of a lonely old woman living in a mansion in Holmby Hills with let’s say 300 cats jumping around, some in their own feces.

I have tried to think to myself what would compel a woman such as yourself to write a letter to someone they have never met? Even worse, you are making up your mind based on headlines. I can understand you writing Paris Hilton a letter out of care because as you said in your letter, you have known her most of her life. Then again, it’s sad and pathetic you had the audacity to post that letter on the internet instead of just sending it to Paris personally.

Candy, you don’t know any of the facts concerning my situation. I am a hardworking, compassionate and honest person. I will prevail just as I have in the past because overcoming adversity is not only a part of the entrepreneurial experience but a part of life. You should appreciate this and know this more than anyone and I am ashamed of you for forgetting how hard it is to make it in this world and the people who would love to tear you down because you have. Sadly, it appears you have become one of those people.

Contrary to what you have said in your letter, my world has not changed. My business Girls Gone Wild is thriving and posted record sales last month. Most important, my friends and my family (I love you guys….) have stood by me. This whole situation will be over soon and I will be standing strong.

I have never played a victim but I have always been a fighter. I will ultimately prevail in the matters at hand but I am concerned that you will die a lonely and unfulfilled person playing with those cats and posting open letters to people you have never met on the internet.

Sincerely,

Joe Francis

I didn’t know jailhouse BITCH Joe Francis would have the balls to call Candy out on this! Maybe jail is toughening this little rich boy up.

Share This

I don’t know if she is trying to be pseudo mom of the year or what, but Candy Spelling is up to her old tricks of writing open letters to celebrities facing jail or in jail. Maybe she could write a letter to her son telling him that the show “Sons of Hollywood” sucks balls.

Candy’s letter:

Dear Joe,

As the headlines about you changed — to scream “imprisoned” and “U.S. marshals” instead of “filmmaker” and “entrepreneur,” you respond by crying, wailing and seeing yourself as a victim. Bad move. Today’s headlines call you a “crybaby.”

You blew it, Joe. Instead of jumping from party to party, you’re being shuffled from one prison to another. And no one feels sorry for you. The flatterers and entourages have moved on. They have short attention spans. They’re hanging on to someone else and will take advantage of the new “temp celebrity” as long as it lasts.

The only redeeming factor is reading that you have been calling home every day from prison. When things are looking bleak, it sounds like you’ve found that you can get some perspective from the reliable people at home. Maybe you’re realizing these are the only people who really care about you.

Your world has changed, and you’re the poster boy for what can happen when boys go wild. Your every move and every emotion are still being reported, but not the way you want. It’s time for some dignity. At least it might prevent you from being forever defined as a crybaby

Sincerely,

Candy Spelling

Share This

Apparently Joe Francis is not doing handling being locked up to well, and to say I am not surprised is an understatement, he looks like he would be a little cupcake! You just know he is the jailhouse BITCH! His lawyer said this to TMZ about his stay so far:

(Francis) is having “full-blown anxiety attacks” and is “breaking down,” his lawyer tells the News-Herald of Panama City, Fla. He is isolated in a cold cell with only a towel and a blanket to keep him warm. And the poor, poor multimillionaire’s plight is being exacerbated by his jail ward-mate, Robert Bailey, who has been sentenced to die for killing a police officer. Bailey, according to Aaron Dyer, Francis’ lawyer, “would sit there and yell, ‘Girls Gone Wild! Joe Francis! Whoo!” Last week, Francis missed the medication cart and “went into a full-blown anxiety attack.”

I wonder what gang he is going to join? Muslims? Skinheads? I dunno but he better hope someone lets him in quick, or he might not make it!

Share This

So thirsty he tried to bribe a guard with $100 dollars for a bottle of water. Then the guard, obviously not seeing his chance at profit, reported him which led to a search of his cell. Which apparently had more pills in it than Anna Nicole, including sleeping medicine and anti anxiety pills.

If I was a little piece of rich, white meat like him I probably have smuggled in some date rape drugs, that way the jail rapes could be forgotten easier.

He know faces a charge of bribing a public servant, three counts of possessing a controlled substance and five counts of introducing contraband into a detention facility.

Get use to jail BITCH!

Share This

Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild, was arrested at the airport today after he failed to turn himself in yesterday for criminal contempt of court. This all sprouted from a 2003 lawsuit in which he failed to reach an agreement.

BUSTED BITCH!

I almost forgot to add, when you take a mugshot, don’t smile like you are posing for a third grade yearbook.

Share This