With as much shit as I give BITCHney Spears, I was really hoping she would wow us at the VMA’s, but the BITCH didn’t! In fact, it was HORRIBLE. I have seen strippers put more thought into their stage show than BITCHney. And already the story is being turned around. Because, you know, its definitely not HER fault that her show sucked so bad, and here are the many, many excuses her and her few remaining fans have come up with:
1. Sarah Silverman - supposedly BITCHney heard her practicing her routine, specifically the part where she says that BITCHney’s kids are the “cutest mistakes” and said they were as cute as the vayjayjay that they came out of, and this threw BITCHney off her game. But, funny BITCH and awesome person altogether, Sarah Silverman denied BITCHney could have even heard it, because she never rehearsed any of her jokes there, and she went on after BITCHney committed career suicide.
2. Her Manager - Its the same guy responsible for driving Kelly Clarkson’s newest album straight into the ground.
3. MTV - They didn’t let her do her original show that included Criss Angel helping plan it, so she wasn’t very enthusiastic about and just didn’t try hard.
4. Her Booze - During rehearsals the drunk BITCH was drinking margaritas, and went out clubbing the night before, and the night after.
The only one of those options that make any type of sense at all is number 4, but I am pretty sure thats not right either because booze makes people dance like assholes, not brain dead slut moms. I think it more likely is a heavy dose of xanax and paxil mixed with booze that made her seem so dumb. OR….maybe she is just the dumb redneck BITCH we all thought she turned into.
And if you want a REALLY good laugh, just head over to BITCHney Spears fansite, BreatheHeavy.com, and read all these idiot-tards supporting BITCHney and hating on Sarah Silverman. Then I recommend you sign up and tell them why it was all BITCHney’s fault that she sucked.
Ohh, and if you really thought BITCHney’s crotch shots were all accidents, well she flashed it again after the VMA’s, in what I am guessing is, a pathetic cheap shot at getting attention.
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After the jump is the semi-NSFW pic of BITCHney flashing her beaver!!! (more…)
Well the BITCHney-KFed custody battle began today, and as anyone could expect, shits already hitting the fan! Kevin Federline’s lawyer attempted to bring in a secret witness, who supposedly worked with her after she left rehab, but the judge said they could only consider the witness if he would reveal his identity and file a written declaration. Gloria Allred, who represents the secret witness, had this to say about BITCHney’s lawyers negative response to the yet identified man:
“It appears we hit a raw nerve with Miss Wasser, Britney Spears’ attorney. We think she would like to prevent our client from testifying. Perhaps she has a sense of what he might say.”
I wonder who this secret witness could be? One of her manny’s??? Or Larry Rudolph? And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why BITCHney’s lawyer wouldn’t want any other witnesses to have to testify. BITCHney’s case is already looking bad enough, they don’t need anymore witnesses lining up to testify against her!
Why none other than BITCHney Spears kid, duh!!! I nominate her for Mom Of The Year, because I mean what really says “Mommy Loves You” like holding a lit cigarette inches from your childs face??? I bet that kid could light up a whole pack of ciggies at once with one match, and not even start coughing. Shit, I bet that kid could light up a whole pack of cigarettes, pour some Jack on the rocks and change his kid brothers diaper at the same time, because, when you are BITCHney’s kids, those are your basic survival skills. They also know the “how to hold mommy’s hair out of the toilet bowl when she is hungover” trick, but they don’t like to brag.
So a bunch of BITCHney’s new songs leaked, and while they are not THAT bad, they are pretty shitty and predictable to say the least. Her voice is over produced, with too many sound effects to count and can someone please tell me why she is ALWAYS talking and giggling in the background. The worse of the three that leaked is a bad blues rendition, with…gasp! BITCHney singing in a non-techno effected voice! Fortunately for BITCHney though, her blind fan base will hail these songs as the greatest music of all time, and maybe, after months of brainwashing, I will be tapping my feet to the beat too. But I doubt it.
I don’t know what in the hell this BITCH was thinking when she decided to wear this “dress” out in public. It doesn’t even begin to cover her ass, but it does appear cottage cheese covers pretty much the whole thing. And for a second I was starting to think maybe she was just doing this as a big joke, and she was going to laugh and be like “I fooled yah BITCHES” but then I remembered, this is BITCHney Spears we are talking about. A smart day for her consist of being able to find her cigs and kids after she came home drunk.
She also thought wearing one COLORED contact was a good idea:
BITCHney better brace herself, her whole image of boozing-slut-mom just got a whole lot worse. Us magazine is reporting about a certain wild, booze filled night Spears had with some guys from the set of her disastrous new music video. They report:
Although Spears was expecting her two young sons to be dropped off at her Beverly Hills home at noon (as per her custody arrangement with their father, Kevin Federline), the singer had arranged to have the pool reopened at 2 am for the exclusive use of her group, which included then-assistant Shannon Funk and some hand-picked male extras from her video shoot.
“Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed,†Encinias tells Us. “I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot.â€
Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.
Mike explained: “Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s
“Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top.
“She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses.â€
Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to “make out†with him.
He said: “She straddled me and put her legs around me.
“When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up.
“Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.
“Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect.
“She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.â€
Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.
He said: “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on.
“She was looking like she was ready - and I wanted to finalise it.â€
He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.
Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.
Mike added: “In the end we had to say our goodbyes.â€
I kind of feel like BITCHney has filled the void left by Anna Nicole and reformed party girl Tara Reid. And who can blame her?? When you look that hot and have fake flower tattoos on your tata’s you can’t help but be naked, in fact, clothes should be a crime!!!
But really though, we should give her a break, this story could have been a lot worse, I mean, she could have let them run a train on her!
So BITCHney was out driving around and tried to park her car, but the dumb BITCH hit the car next to hers. Thankfully, none of her kids were in the backseat and it was all caught on tape. Unfortunately for BITCHney, it only makes her look like the biggest BITCH ever. Mostly because she gets out of the car, flashes her crotch, only takes the time to inspect her car, and then just walks away from the scene of the accident without leaving as much as a letter, qualifying this as a hit and run. Which BITCHney should be familiar with, because its a lot like what Kfed did to her: he hit that shit, and then he ran out!!!
And I am no driving expert, but maybe parking would be easier if BITCHney wasn’t driving with a dumb ass dog in her lap.
Usually I avoid most of the stories involving people’s babies, but with BITCHney it’s just too hard! Life & Style magazine, and Us Weekly, are all reporting about the bad parenting these children, who are only 22 mos and 11 mos old, are receiving. Here are the highlights from the stories:
“When Britney and Kevin were first married, she objected to his smoking around the kids, the insider notes, but now ’she smokes like a chimney in front of them.’ Even worse, when Brit misplaces her pack of cigarettes, she’ll actually turn to Sean and say, ‘Baby, where are Mama’s lollipops?’ Sean runs, gets her cigarettes and brings them back to her.â€
Britney constantly hands kids when she’s tired: “She has a short attention span, and that applies to caring for her kids. Jayden is at a fussy stage, and when he starts crying, Brit hands the baby to a bodyguard to calm him down. When she needs a break, she gives her boys to the nearest person — even shopgirls at clothing stores!â€
When Sean asks for Grandma, Britney: “tells the boys, ‘she’s a bad lady.’â€
Says an insider, “He’s having dental problems because Britney just shoves a bottle of juice in his mouth all the time to stop him from crying.â€
Britney has even become so bothered by Sean P.’s teeth yellowing, she “asked an L.A. dentist if he would whiten her kid’s teeth!†Thankfully, the dentist refused.
A Spears pal adds, “[Britney] feeds them total crap like Doritos and soda.†She also reportedly gives him chewing gum (potential choking hazard).
And how does Britney put Sean P. to bed? Says the source, “She fed Sean ice cream before bed because the cold would make him sleepy.â€
This would be funny if it was a movie, but its not. These are actual babies we are talking about. I don’t even understand how a person could get to the conclusion that pouring a soda into a baby’s bottle is a good idea. And they are so young they shouldn’t even know what it taste like at all, so it’s not like they should be asking for it either. And teeth whitening on a baby?? That doesn’t make sense at all, especially because those teeth are just going to fall out when he is 6 anyway!
It’s insane when you think about the fact that BITCHney is less capable of being a good parent than Michael Jackson, who makes his kids wear masks, dangles them off balconies, gets accused of being a pedo and names them things like Blanket.
The always acting crazy Spears has gotten herself in trouble running that big pie hole of hers (it’s got to be big to fit in extra cheetos) to two Papz who were taking her picture as she exited a spa in Las Vegas. In an over the edge rant, BITCHney was caught screaming some not so nice things, and here is the official statement thats going around:
Spears yelled “I am going to kill you! I am going to fucking kill you!,” at Andrew Deetz, the photographer who was allegedly beaten by Spears’ bodyguard on Thursday
The men were taking pictures of Spears and her children as they left the spa at the Wynn Las Vegas casino-hotel at about 11:30 a.m., accompanied by two bodyguards.
One bodyguard, Cesar Julio Camera, pushed Henderson (the other photopgrapher) against the wall until Wynn security intervened.
Afterward, Spears ran toward Henderson but was stopped by security, and then threw a baby bottle at him.
Then, in front of several other hotel guests and bystanders, Spears threatened to kill Deetz and said he should get a restraining order against her because she was going to kill him or hire someone that would.
Uhmm is this BITCH really that far gone that she doesn’t realize yelling about getting a hitman is a good idea, especially when you have enough money to make it happen?
And I have an even better idea than killing the papz, since the BITCH isn’t doing anything in LA but driving around and going to bars, why doesn’t she just move somewhere far, far away? Somewhere like North Dakota would be ideal, there are no papz there and the BITCH could just settle down, continue breeding like a rabbit and start her own paparazzi free city in just a few weeks! Just think how great it would be….no bad weave, no gross beef curtains, no cellulite ass being shown, no bad pole dancing, no more trashy outfits, no more ex husbands…the list could keep going for months!
These pics, taken right before BITCHney went completely batshit and shaved her head in February show our always classy lady flashing us her thong while she hangs out with a guy that looks like he is in some desperate need of lotion. Its kind of humorous looking at these pictures because you can almost pinpoint the exact second this BITCH lost her mind. What makes it sad though is she actually looks classier, happier and hotter in these pics and that was just a few months ago! Its amazing how fast she drove herself into the ground, I mean, really, the BITCH deserves a medal for screwing up things so badly. Especially her ass, I mean, how did it go from looking like this to looking like THIS???? It defies all logic.
And sorry for the lack of updates today, I had a hair appointment, and now I am just being a lazy BITCH!!!
Watching BITCHney Spears, it appears that she is in some silent competition with the mirror to see who can be the biggest whore look a like, but then I remember, this is BITCHney Spears we are talking about people, and she actually is a WHORE! I mean, how else can you explain these not sexy at all but pretty disgusting shots of her attempting to pole dance for her new music video??? She reminds me of the girl thats at every party you go to who is always completely wasted and dancing like she thinks she is the hottest BITCH there even though she has vomit in her hair, is super sweaty and doesn’t even realize she is missing a shoe.
p.s. glad to see BITCHney is such a fan of recycling, like those skanky ass holey fishnets she salvaged from a strippers trashcan.
I will never understand this BITCH at all. She crys and boo hoo’s about the negative publicity she gets, then, when she looks halfway decent and has a chance to clear the air about everything going on in her life she goes and wears these shitty clothes and poses like she wants to be on the cover of Hustler. Like really, what doesn’t scream cheap whore about these pictures? The classy bra, the skanky skirt or the fact that she is posing on a red bed wearing these nasty clothes??? Or maybe its the hat that covers up her rat nest extensions that really seals the deal on this class act.
In the original divorce settlement KFed and BITCHney were going to be sharing joint custody of the kids, but her recent behaviors have supposedly led KFed to seek full custody. The Scoop reports:
Spears was recently spotted driving with her younger son Jayden facing forward in his car seat, not backward as federal guidelines require. And earlier this month, he was photographed grabbing his mother’s cigarettes. On July 18, she stripped to her skivvies on a beach in front of photographers and reports of bizarre behavior at an OK! magazine shoot have friends seriously worried about the Toxic singer. Spears wants K-Fed to sign a joint custody agreement, but he’s reportedly refused. “Kevin is convinced she’s not fit to raise the kids,†an insider told the mag. “He’s done tolerating her behavior and is gearing up to fight for full custody.â€
I say give him a shot! I mean, it’s not like he can do any worse than running around in his drawers in front of the papz while screaming out obscenities and chain smoking/eating. And maybe then the BITCH could go get the serious treatment that she very clearly needs. But I highly doubt it, she seems content with her title of “Queen BITCHney - ruler of all thats trashy”.
This week, OK! Magazine is going to be running a tell all interview with pictures from a photoshoot directed by BITCHney herself, so whats the problem you ask? BITCHney was acting like trash as usual!!!! The whole situation was such a disaster that OK! Magazine released this statement:
“OK! Magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad. This week, on newsstands Friday, the truth will be told.”
What the hell could the BITCH be saying, besides “I went crazy, and everyone who tried to help me I told to go f*ck themselves!”? Or, “I don’t know how to use birth control, and had two kids back to back, had postpartum depression, and even though I have all the money in the world I didn’t get help with anything.” There is a million and one things she could say about being crazy, but somehow I just know this BITCH is really going to go too far with this interview and say something certifiably insane. TMZ had an insider at the OK! magazine interview, and here is what they reported:
According to multiple sources, Britney’s behavior during the interview was “nothing less than a meltdown.” She was, according to our sources, “completely out of it” during the shoot. The photos are “so bad” we’ve learned, that to publish them could “kill her career.” Apparently, Brit Brit’s eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead.
Her mood was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her.
We’ve also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. After she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Our on-set spy also says that her dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used a Chanel dress to clean it up!
As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We’ve learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn’t havin’ none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her “skanky friends” to do her hair and makeup.
Hmmm…erratic, bizarre behavior coupled with weight loss and paranoia…I am going out on a limb her and saying this BITCH is abusing prescription drugs, booze and cocaine!!! Or maybe she just really has always been this TRASHY. What I am really wondering is what affect this will have on the children and her custody? If its too much of a disaster, I am sure Kfed, the good parent, will step in and get full custody.
Our always classy BITCHney was caught yelling some crude things at a fatty photographer over the weekend:
“Hey baby, when are you going to get on a diet? Have you ever tried weight watchers, you fat fuck. Why don’t you run, you need to fuckin jog, you pussy. Yeah, run, run bitch.”
And better yet, she had both her children with her, so maybe they learned some new words from their mommy. Who am I kidding??? You know BITCH was their first word! I would also like to point out the irony of BITCHney making fun of anyone, because everyone knows how classy, sexy and naturally beautiful as she is on her own.
The good news??? BITCHney is back to work filming her new video. The bad news? She looks like a biker BITCH going to a funeral.
I think if she pulls off a good song/good video the comeback plan will be into action. One wrong move by BITCHney though, and I think her career could follow in the footsteps of Michael Jackson where the next time we see her she is dangling a baby off a balcony and screaming for her cigarettes and cheetos.
Well, thats the conclusion I came to after I saw these pics of her stripping down to her bra and panties then hoofing it to the ocean. Usually I would have a lot of harsh words for the hoochie mama of two, but I can respect the spontaneity of seeing a beach and running for a quick dip. What I cannot respect however, is a bushy box or poorly dyed weave. But, BITCHney does look better than usual, she must be on one hell of a work out program because her legs and stomach are looking LOTS better. I still don’t trust these pictures though because BITCHney is a chameleon, sometimes she is her old self, and at other times she is a trailer park-cheeto-eating-skanky-clothes-wearing mess. Today, she picked somewhere in between.
p.s. At first I thought her ass was looking fantastic, then I looked at the last thumbnail a little to closely and I take back the spontaneity thing too, because her friend came prepared with a bathing suit.
I dunno, its been a slow day today, so here comes a BITCHney story. Us magazine(via Gallery of the absurd) contacted two doctors to analyze the crazy momma herself and here is what they say about her pattern of behaviors:
Britney was flashing flesh before her first meltdown and now she’s doing it again. These days, she can be seen parading around Hollywood wearing sheer tops with brightly colored bras - that is, if she chooses to wear a bra at all. She has no problems going out in public looking like a tawdry scarecrow. “She’s saying ‘I’m doing what I want to do when I want to do it,’” Dr. Pennington says of Spears.
Britney has once again dyed her horse hair dark - this does not bode well. If you’ll remember, she had dark locks before she grabbed the clippers to shave that mess off. “When Britney was blonder, she was ‘good,’” says Ludwig, “Now she’s getting in touch with her ‘darker’ side.”
BITCHney is at Michael Jackson status when it comes to creepy, odd behavior and instead of molesting children, she just keeps making them! But I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if she goes all crazies on us again. In fact, I expect it to happen 100%, because BITCHney seems so far gone.
p.s. I really like the added touch of her shirt being inside out.
Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but BITCHney dressed herself like a $2 hooker again! You would think she would have ran out of the shittiest clothes on earth by now, but nope, the fug outfits keep coming. And you know this BITCH has to see these paparazzi shots of her looking like a fug monster, so why doesn’t she do something about it? I know why! Because BITCHney is trashy through and through and loves the attention she is getting! But soon enough she will learn, contrary to what most people say, all publicity is NOT good publicity.
Also, lets take a moment to reflect in silence about BITCHney’s other dogs, which are obviously being replaced by a new dog. Soon I bet she is going to do a kid swap as well!!
It’s almost hard to believe, but for BITCHney Spears life just keep getting worse. I knew her divorce from Kfed was going too smooth, but all the dirt is about to be aired in the open! Splash news reports:
Things between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have gotten so bad that they have both hired private investigators to dig up dirt on each other according to the National Enquirer and they both plan to use the seedy details in the custody battle for their two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.
Ever since Britney left rehab, rumors have been swirling that she was back on the bottle and has been linked to everyone from her rehab counselor, to her manny, to record producers, and her bodyguard.
Kevin’s pals say he knows through his investigator that Britney has a companion who’s going on liquor runs for her and that the singer has stumbled drunk out of a number of clubs in the past. Kevin’s pals also say he plans to bring up that Britney allegedly walks around her house topless or naked and doesn’t care who notices.
While that sounds bad for Britney, she has a P.I. of her own who has been digging up the dirt on Kevin from sex parties, drug use, to drinking while he has custody of their children.
“Britney was informed that Kevin has had several pals visit his home while he has the boys and his friends are welcome to drink, smoke marijuana and party with half-naked girls,” disclosed the source. “And he has had several girls over for one night stands. The boys don’t ever come out of their rooms, and no one is allowed back in their rooms.”
And if that isn’t bad enough, the BITCH is about to be homeless! She already had her $13.5 million dollar house on the market since the divorce, but she was forced to lower the asking price to a little bit under $12 mil, and is now offering it fully furnished. She also listed her Beverly Hills home on the market for $7.5 mil. And in true honky couture fashion, she is make shift living at the Four Seasons hotel, because nothing screams classy like an unwed mother of two living in a hotel.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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and I take back the spontaneity thing too, because her friend came prepared with a bathing suit.
