Last night South Park was the funniest shit ever, and I just wanted to include some highlights/quotes from the show, since it was all about Bitchney and the paparazzi, and how freaking crazy all this shit has gotten:
- Boys are watching a presidential debate, that is interrupted to say Britney Spears is in town.
- Britney Spears goes camping in South Park, where she pees outside on a ladybug and the picture goes for $100,000
- Kyle exclaims: “$100,000 for a picture of Britney peeing on a ladybug. Imagine what a picture of her crapping on a squirrel is worth!â€Â (see picture above of Butters in a squirrel outfit)
- The south park kids pretended to be her kids and sneak into the hotel she relocated to, then when she found out they were not really her kids, she shoots herself in the head, only to survive, headless of course.
-Â She continues to perform at an award show, where people call her fat, and say she is lipsynching even though she doesn’t have a head and all her sounds are basically grunting.
- The boys give a speech on how the papz need to stop, or they are going to kill Britney, then basically the papz photograph her already headless body to death. Really.
I love how South Park is the only show that will really push the envelope on everything that is currently happening in the news, really goes to show Matt and Trey ain’t no bitches!!! Because, as much as I love celebrity gossip, I hate when I am trying to watch the “real” news, and they are talking about some celeb bullshit that has no place on the evening news.
Although, its just a teaser, its pretty much what I expected. A Britney still looking less than her best, being put into stupid roles where her lines include “Can we have sex and then go shopping?”. Which is kind of funny, because, I am pretty sure thats the exact thing I heard her say to Adnan!
But for reals, can someone get my bitch some decent roles and some good shampoo!!!!
Jamie Spears, who has been acting as co-conservator of her estate for the past several weeks will now be fulfilling that role for a LOT longer, actually until July 31st to be exact. Thats considering if Jamie doesn’t feel his daughter has improved by then and turn over the rights to her estate sooner, which the judge left room to allow.
Now, I don’t know about yall, but I didn’t even know shit like this could happen, especially for this long! And even though she clearly seems to be getting better under these circumstances, I still think its crazy that a judge can turn over all control of your life to your parents when you are damn well into your twenties. I mean, sure Bitchney was behaving crazier than a walrus on crack, but I see crazier people all the time, or at least worse dead beats, and their shit doesn’t get turned over to their parents.
The LAPD confirmed rumors that they were investigating the fact that Britney Spears might have been “drugged”, and while not stating any suspects, you would have to be a tard and a half to not believe they are referring to former frienemy of Spears, Sam Lutfi. Lutfi even previously claimed that he was responsible for making sure she took her medicine, and that he gave her drug cocktails!
In all honesty though, how fucking creepy would it be to have this guy living with you, watching you shower, being in contact with your kids and what not, and the whole time he is drugging you…..but then again, look at this bad goatee sporting bitch! He looks like the type of perv that would drill a hole through a bathroom wall and spy on people.
So our girl Bitchney was out and about, and while things are improved overall, I hate this disgusting shirt. And as far as her personal life is concerned, not much has changed, she still is under a conservatorship in which her father has control of all her life essentially, she hasn’t seen her children in almost 7 weeks, and at a recent court hearing a judge shot down visitation again, even though Kfed said he was okay with it.
As long as she continues to keep a low profile though, things can only start to get better.
Britney was out and about showing off her new weave, or, atleast, her newly washed weave (give me a break people, its valentines day and the stories are slooooooow coming today) and besides looking pissed off(she does have a million reasons to be mad), she actually looked good! The makeup, the hair, the clothes plus an emotion other than “fucking crazy” are all really working for her. Although, you do have to wonder if she is this pissed off, what type of behavior we might be in store for, when Monday, her father is removed as the conservator of her estate.
I can’t wait to find out which Bitchney we will get….
UPDATE:Â A judge today extended Jamie Spears(Brit’s dad) conservatorship over her estate until March 10. Â Just when I thought crazy Bitchney was going to get to come out and play!
According to the new Star Magazine, Bitchney and Adnan got married when they went on a wild vacation to Mexico recently. Which is kind of funny, considering Adnan is MARRIED! Or, should I say was because he got served two weeks ago with divorce papers. At least this explains (perhaps) why Britney felt the need to don her old wedding dress.
And how-freaking-hilarious is the other story on the cover, proclaiming Jamie Lynn Spears has moved into a double wide trailer, which is, you know, the bigger version of a regular trailer, for people who have money.
UPDATE: Some people, who may or may not have neural networks in their brain, have expressed confusion over this story so let me clarify. YES, they performed a marriage ceremony in Mexico. NO, it is not valid because Adnan is married.
 It has come to light, just recently, that Sam Lutfi was emailing Spears former business manager Howard Grossman (who knew she even had one?) and demanding money. However, Grossman says he never gave into the demands, so Lutfi did not get the dough he wanted. This portrayal of Lutfi is a far cry from the buddy buddy image he was projecting when he made the claim that he never received money from Spears, because, whats even worse than actually getting paid from a friend is trying to go behind their back and take their money, while making claims to the effect that you wouldn’t touch a dime of their money no matter what. Thus its only fitting that Lutfi is our “Bitch of the day”.
Everyone knows the hoard of paparazzi following Britney Spears around is just absolutely-fucking-ridiculous. And its only going to get crazier, or so I can assume, as reports of photo agencies recruiting Crips and Bloods to do their dirty work for them and fight for the pictures of the dysfunctional pop star. One pap confides:
They claim rival agencies are arming the thugs with cameras and sending them out to do battle with the dozens of paps who rubberneck around Hollywood’s favorite train wreck.
Veteran snapper Nick Stern, who quit the Splash agency this month, said: “I’ve heard stories of fights, of car tires being slashed, cars being blocked in.”
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love seeing all the pics of the celebs doing their day to day bullshit, but this is just stupid. People must be really desperate for money if the only thing they can do is fight for a picture of Bitchney leaving the gas station at 4 in the morning, while getting their ass kicked by a crip who decided he wants to c walk on someones face.
Pic is of Bitchney outside of Millenium dance studio, where she was later joined by her father Jamie before returning home. It seems as if the crazy train is coming to a halt, but we will see how long it last.
Watch out bitches!!!! TMZ just reported that Bitchney has left the UCLA medical center where she was being evaluated and treated for her alleged bipolar disorder.  No word yet on the terms, if any, of her release, and until there are new developments, thats about all that is known.
Rolling Stone is obviously doing a big feature on Ms. Bitchney, and here are some random excerpts from it according to the NY post:
About Plastic Surgery
She had her breasts enlarged as a teenager, but later … “regretted the implants, particularly because her chest was still growing,” the magazine reports. “And when her natural breasts became larger, she had the implants removed.” Spears has always denied she was surgically enhanced.
When she had credit card trouble at Betsey Johnson
Then she ducks into the dressing room with (Adnan) Ghalib. He emerges with her black Am Ex.
The card won’t go through, but they keep trying it.
“Please,” begs Ghalib, “get this done quickly.”
One of the girls runs to Britney’s dressing room, explaining the situation through a pink gauze curtain.
A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member’s deathbed. “Fuck these bitches,” screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. “These idiots can’t do anything right!”
Ghalib dashes over to console her, but she’s already spitting, growling, throwing a big bottle of soda on the floor so that it begins to spill underneath the curtain, and then she’s got a box of tissues and is throwing them on top of the wet floor along with piles of discarded merchandise. A new card finally goes through, but by then Britney is out the door, leaving her shirt on the ground and replacing it with the red top. “Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger. “Leave us alone!” yells Ghalib.
(One girl catches up to ask for a picture) “Um, I’m from the South too,” she mumbles, “and I was wondering if I could get a picture with you for my little sister.”
Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm. “I don’t want her talking to me!” she screams. She whirls around and stares the girl deep in the eyes, her lips almost vibrating with anger. “I don’t know who you think I am, bitch,” she snarls, “but I’m not that person.”
And just in case you haven’t got sick of Bitchney yet, Blender decided to do a cover with Spears on it, without actually having her there. Using a body double(obviously) and the wonders of photoshop, they created a cover, that features her face, on someone elses body. Which demonstrates what a shitty, useless mag Blender is. I mean, they resorted to using a body double and editing, that’s just pathetic, at least buy one of a pap and use it. But I use to get that shit magazine for free, but it started taking up too much room in the trashcan so I had to cancel my subscription. Anyways, without anymore ado, the fake cover Blender concocted in an attempt to sell magazines:
Even though I think this cover is the biggest bullshit scam to sell mags ever, I think the cigarette mouse ears and red bull are a nice touch.
The entire transcript of Lynne Spears deposition to a court about the state of her daughter is truly too bizarre to have been made up. It is filled with accusations that include the drugging of Spears along with stories of how Lutfi disables Bitchney’s cars and cellphones. Its super long so I hope you have a minute….
I, Lynne Spears, declare:
I am the mother of Britney Spears (“Britneyâ€)., who is the subject of this action. I have personal knowledge of each of the facts set forth in this Declaration, and can testify completely thereto, except as this matters stated on information and belief, and as to such matters I believe them to be true.
This past Monday night (Jan. 28), Britney’s father, Jamie, and I (in separate cars) went to Britney’s house in Beverly Hills because we had heard news reports that Britney had just been in a big fight with Sam Lufti aka Sam Lufti (“samâ€), the man who has inserted himself into my daughter’s life, home and finances, and that she was crying. We were very concerned about her safety. We arrived at the Summit Community gatehouse in BHPO at approximately 10 p.m. I was with my friend Jackie.
The guards at the gatehouse stopped us there for awhile. Jackie, Jamie and I finally proceeded to Britney’s house and entered it. We were able to enter the house because it was not locked. Britney does not lock her doors and currently there are no security guards around her residence. Britney was not home. We found Sam, and sam said as we walked in the door that Britney only wanted me to come to the house, and that she was afraid to see her dad.
The rest is after the jump!!! And don’t worry, it gets crazier-sadder-more disturbing as you read it. This Lutfi guy is either really scandalous, or the Spears family are all really crazy. Though instinct tells me that all the Spears are crazy, I do think this Lutfi guy is scheming on that Bitchney Spears money.  Plus, from these stories, he is just fucking weird.
P.S. A lot of people lame-O bitches have been hating on people having a laugh at this, comparing making fun of Bitchney Spears to making fun of a mentally retarded person, since she has a sickness (bipolar disorder) and her behavior is out of her control. But, I firmly believe, if you can’t make fun of tards and the mentally ill, who can you make fun of??? And if this got your panties in a wad, you are the lame-O bitch I am talking about, and I would like to politely kick you in the face for being a humorless twat.
A lot has been going on with the train wreck formerly recognizable as Britney Spears since I last updated, so let me attempt to sum the craziness up for you. After increasingly insisting on using strange accents and her typical weird behavior of going to drug stores and gas stations at all times of the night with her pal/manager person Sam Lutfi, her parents, Jamie and Lynne Spears arrived in LA, and rumors of an intervention for her to receive treatment for her bipolar disorder were basically confirmed. However, this was not before more strange nights that featured Spears crying outside of her house for her pap boyfriend Adnan, only to have him show up and be denied entry by the guards under orders from Sam. Both Jamie and Lynne expressed their distaste with Sam, claiming he pressured her to buy a brand new mercedes during this time, and was motivated by “evil”. However, that is the least serious of the accusations that would surface against him in the upcoming days.
During this time, Bitchney was seeing a new psychiatrist, who began treating her for her bipolar disorder. Things came to a head on the 31st though, after family members “barged” into the house, and attempted an intervention, although they could not legally force her to seek help. Things really turned interesting however when the psychiatrist that had been treating her at her house decided she was a threat to herself, and put her on a 5150 hold, which required her to be hospitalized for observation. And as only Bitchney could do it, she went into custody at 4 am in the morning, with an entourage of cops to escort her through the 100+ paparazzi crowd that formed outside her house to the UCLA medical center. Reportedly, the Spears family was against the 5150 hold, but the whole thing was coerced by none other that Lutfi himself, and when a vocal Lynne Spears expressed her disliking of the situation, Bitchney told that old ho to shut up and said she would do what she needed to do! Shockingly, Lynne Spears later rode with Bitchney’s pap boyfriend Adnan to the hospital, so perhaps he is not the scum bag we all assume he is, but I highly doubt that. Once in the hospital, Spears was so uncooperative it took over two hours to try and check her in, as she hurled profanities at staff and accused her mother of sleeping with her boyfriend, though she did not say who. It also surfaced that Spears was ingesting Adderall and up to ten laxatives a day.
Spears was later classified as a “Grave Danger”, meaning she is incapable of being responsible for the smallest tasks such as feeding herself, or finding shelter, which is one qualification for involuntary commitment. With that classification, her father, Jamie took legal action and a judge granted him, and his lawyer Andrew Wallet as conservators of her estate, giving them the rights to make any decisions for Bitchney, as well as communicate with her doctors and access her medical information. A judge also issued a restraining order against Sam Lutfi, accusing him of harassing Spears. The Spears family also accused Lutfi of drugging Bitchney by tricking her into taking medicine, and grinding pills up for her. The restraining order is only for 22 days, but does maintain that he must not contact any of the Spears family, or come to any location that they are at.
When Spears discovered her father had been pointed conservator, she was royally pissed, and contacted a lawyer, to try and gain back control of her estate and assets in an upcoming court case. It was also brought to the attention of the media that between the time Jamie Spears was appointed cosnervator, and when Bitchney got committed, someone went through her private stuff and valuable items were missing. Also around this time, Spears stay was extended to 14 days from the original 3 for further evaluation.
After trying to condense a weeks worth of Bitchneys crazy shit my fingers are tired and I am going to take a break…but I will be back to update more tonight!!!
Bitchney has been having such a bad week that I thought I would just wait till its over to blog about it, to keep myself from becoming depressed, because, to be honest, this bitch’s life is a mess! After failing to show up for an emergency custody which she requested, she was denied visitation again, even though she asked for medically supervised visits. Then, her buddy Sam Lufti was grilled by the court who wants to know exactly how he knows the unbalanced singer, and where does he get his moolah, and if him and Spears have a monetary agreement with X17 in exchange for photos.
And to complicate things even worse, her “boyfriend” Adnan, has been mia for most of this week, but has been speaking to the media, and getting served up with divorce papers from his wife.
And she has brought back a previously employee, Carla, whom she fired for supposedly talking to the media.
Also, her uncle, William Spears, has started talking to The Sun, spreading stories of teenage alcohol and drug exploits:
He says Brit, 26, started DRINKING when she was a 13-year-old Mickey Mouse Club presenter and dabbled with DRUGS from the age of 14.
After her turbulent early years, Willie says she went wild on turning 18, snorting cocaine on her birthday, adding: “She has tried just about everything - cocaine, crystal meth, ecstasy.â€
Last but definitely not least, Spears went to an elementary school where she tried to take kids that did not belong to her. Us Magazine reports:
“She was just rambling and confused,†says the witness, who approached Spears to ask if she was OK. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’â€
“It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,†says a school source. She was directed to a more secure entrance around back.
But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”
And I don’t know, maybe I am just being a softy today, but that last one made me sad. She does need friends, but REAL friends who will tell her straight up that her antics aren’t cute, and who will help her start to live a normal life, instead of relishing in the limelight. But I guess when you have millions of dollars, and are in denial about your life, there are tons of fake friends who will tell you want you want to hear while they ride your coat tails so they can get into a tabloid.
I’ve known for a long time now that Bitchney does things just to fuck with people, and now it seems her paparazzi lover is getting in on it too! Recent images on the web that show Bitchney and her bum ass b/f shopping for pregnancy test were leaked by none other than the pap company he works for.
But, Ok! magazine is reporting that the mother of two is actually trying to get pregnant:
Now the pop star has lost both custody and visitation rights with her precious sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James and, as an insider reveals only in the new issue of OK!, friends fear she may seek to heal her loneliness by having another child — this time with her married paparazzo boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib!
“Britney hates when things are taken from her,” a family member of Kevin Federline tells OK!. “The court’s taken Preston and Jayden away, so she’ll just have another kid to take their place. That’s the way she thinks.”
I don’t support child abuse, but GOD I hope this story is true. A pregnant Spears who has already lost custody of two children is just awesome tabloid stories in the making.
Okay, I can’t even begin to explain how bored I am by this story, so bear with me. Bitchney was suppose to be in court today, even though its not required, to try and prove why she should have visitation rights and explain her crazy ass behavior for the past months. But, in a true mother of the year move, she has been a no show. She still has some time to show up to second session after lunch, and she just left her house within the last few minutes, but it is unknown if she is going to the courtroom or to get a bunch of burritos and cigarettes.
Right now, due to her failure to return her children at the end of a visit and holding them hostage for four hours in her house, she has no custody rights at all.
On the upside of things, she can now wear mini shorts and not induce vomiting.
UPDATE 1: She has shown up to court, but has not yet taken the stand. Only one of supposed 7 witnesses has testified, and is likely to carry on until tomorrow.
UPDATE 2: BITCHney has left the building!!! After driving around in circles, and getting out of her car, she quickly left again. Will she be back??? I dunno, but I will keep you updated with the madness.
Okay now. This video is pissing me off and starting my day off all wrong. Ms. Bitchney herself can be seen smoking a cigarette inside her car at a gas station, which seems to be one of her favorite pastimes. But to top it all off nicely, she decides to throw the lit ciggie on the ground. Because, you know, cigarettes and spilled gasoline go together real well.
When her mentally challenged behavior is putting herself at danger that is one thing, risking to blow up a gas station is a whole other thing.
Update:Â Apparently some a-hole didn’t want anyone using their video, so just imagine a monkey in a wig smoking ciggies and dancing by a barrel of gasoline.
Just like everyone predicted, the paparazzi that stole Bitchney’s heart has now sold what is described as semi nude pictures of the mental wreck to an Australian magazine for a mere $57k, which is much lower than the shopping price of $1 mil that was being asked of the popular weeklies, such as People and Us, who dismissed the pictures as not being very good.
Which means this pap spent a whole lovers weekend with BItchney herself and has no good pictures to show for it??? Can we say worst pap ever!
And in other news, according to TMZ, her parents are working on trying to get her committed for mental issues:
TMZ has learned Britney’s parents — especially her dad — have been earnestly trying for months to get her committed into a mental hospital for a bipolar disorder.
We know Jamie Spears in particular has felt since last summer that Brit was suffering from a mental disease and not substance abuse. Jamie was looking for a way to push his daughter into a facility but she refused. Indeed, we’re told she refused and continues to refuse to undergo a battery of tests that would officially diagnose the bipolar disorder.
We’re told both Jamie and Lynne Spears believe Sam Lutfi, the guy who was inseparable from Brit until last week, was a prime reason she was refusing treatment. They are so mad at Lutfi they threw him out of Cedars last week.
Last week, Dr. Phil jumped on the Spears crazy train, and apparently, it was all for publicity and a rep for the Spears’ family is pissed, and put the deranged doctor on blast on the Today Show. And I am glad to see that they publicly called him out since Dr. Phil is pretty much a douche bag who likes to pretend he cares for people, when all he really cares about is ratings. And his show really sucks.
While I was enjoying the holidays, Bitchney was out proving the fact that she is just mentally twisted, and (surprisingly) NOT on drugs. After a police stand off where she barricaded herself in her house with her children, she was taken to Cedars Sinai a.k.a. the worst hospital on the planet, where she was held to make sure she was not a harm to herself or others before being released. But not before honky hero Dr. Phil could butt his big bald head in and act like a visionary when he said she is “in need of dire help”. This was also another HUGE fuck up by the hospital as well, since he basically just snaked his way into her room without her consent.
Now to top things off, she is holed up on a “lovers” trip with a paparazzi by the name of Adnan Ghalib, who looks more like a pedophile who has been jailed for about three years. Who is also married. But according to sources, this is the only person she trust right now, even though rumors are swirling about a possible million dollar deal for pictures of the mental minute at her hideaway.
And perhaps the most shocking thing to come from these stories, is that according to drug tests, she is C-L-E-A-N! Which sucks for her, because now whats her crutch going to be? I don’t know if there is a rehab for just having a full blown case of the crazies.
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
