Proud mama Christina Aguilera is on the cover of People this week, debuting the latest edition of her family, baby Max Liron. And she looks happy. And thats about all the interesting things I can say about these pics, because, new babies are boring, all they do is just lie there and they all look like little shriveled up raisins of people and to be frank, I really don’t like them. Not just Max, ALL babies, except for the awesome ones.

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Okay, remember when I said everyone was pregnant?? Well know everyone is going to be going from being preggo, to having annoying infants! The first one to pop out her baby jr. was Nicole Richie, who had a little girl named Harlow. Yes, its name is really Harlow. People Magazine reports:

Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz.
“The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents,” says the rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.

And the baby news isn’t over yet, because on Saturday, Christina Aguilera and her hubby, Jordan Bratman, delivered their baby as well:

“Christina and Jordan are proud to announce the birth of their son Max Liron Bratman. He is a beautiful, healthy baby boy!” a rep for the two parents confirmed. “Mom is resting and doing well!”

So congratulations to these two now non pregnant bitches!!! Now all we have to look forward to is seeing how quickly they rebound after the pregnancy. I say there is a 50/50 chance one ends up like BITCHney.

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Silly BITCHES around the world get ready to be excited! The Spice Girls said they will do 11 shows worldwide this December and January, and they are projected to make $20mil each! These will be their first performances together since they broke up in 2001. And really, I think the BITCHES look better now than they did then, except for Posh, she just looks more harsh and angular. Which can be a good thing….IF YOU ARE A NAZI!!!!

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Us Magazine is reporting that their magazine will contain absolutely no trace of Paris Hilton whatsoever this week, which means no post jail interviews or pictures. Us Magazine weekly editor Janice Min had this to say about the magazines decision to ban Paris from their pages, from the AP:

“When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue,” US Weekly editor Janice Min told The Associated Press on Tuesday.
Min expects her magazine will do just fine without her. Hilton, she said, has become such a mainstream media staple “that in many ways her time with US Weekly has moved on.”

She also added that if Paris got knocked up she would be back to the main cover, so basically, she admitted they are sellouts and they are using the lack of Paris Hilton to generate publicity, which is kind of still using her to sell magazines. Whatever their reasoning, lets hope this trend catches on worldwide.

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Yay! The world can rejoice once more! Paris Hilton has been freed, and all the worlds problems are solved! Now what are the news stations going to report??? Hopefully some freaking real news! And as much as I wanted her to come out of jail with an even wonkier eye and a mustache, that didn’t happen. We did get to see her with her brown eyes and no make up though, and really, its a look she should consider, it takes at least 10 years off the BITCH! It freaks me out that she has brown eyes, but ALWAYS wears blue contacts, I just want to tell her the days of Hitler are over, and she doesn’t need to dye her hair blonde and wear blue contacts to prove she is an Aryan baby.

Its also being reported that she lost ten pounds while in jail, and upon hearing that news Nicole Richie has asked her judge for a mandatory jail sentence that only lets her leave once she has dropped another 10 herself!

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The results are in, and according to Mel B and the court ordered DNA test, Eddie Murphy is the proven father! These results come after a long ordeal of tabloid bashing and baby denying, so it will be interesting to see where Eddie goes with this.

All I can say is get ready to pay up BITCH because Mel B is a woman scorned publicly, and I bet she is going to get as much as she can from this!

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Nicole Richie threw a party over the memorial day weekend, and she sent out the best invitations I have ever seen in my life:

From: Nicole Richie < xxxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.xxx > To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party Date: Thu 24 Ma 2007 04:29:29 +0000

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of who’s coming. Thanks

This is why Nicole Richie is at least a million times funnier than Paris Hilton. And while a lot of people are trying to say that it isn’t funny because she is laughing and mocking her own eating disorder I, for one, think its awesome. It’s BITCHiness at it’s best!!!

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After Mayweather was declared winner over pretty boy BITCH De La Hoya the party was poppin’ for some of the biggest names in the industry. Not only were 50 cent, Diddy and Jay Z there, many others came through as well like Usher, Jeezy, J.D. and Nelly.

Is it just me or is Young Jeezy looking manorexic or what? I want fat Jeezy back!

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