Do you all remember that womens housing Paris was going to build for people recently released from jail????? Well, this has NOTHING to do with that, probably because the BITCH hasn’t mentioned it since her interview, but what she did do since her interview was go to the bars, dance on the couches and smoke some greenery, Page Six and People report:
“Paris was super happy and full of smiles,” says one clubgoer. “She was laughing, having fun, drinking, dancing, singing along to songs, talking to everyone and hugging all the girls at her table.”
“She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face,”
Was anyone surprised reading this? I know I wasn’t!!! But what did surprise me is her giant, stuffed cleavage. We all saw pics of the BITCH in Hawaii, and to put it kindly….THE BITCH IS FLAT!!! So she must have a super-gravity-defying-boob-creating bra ever.
I would also like to point out the fact that her nose job turned out nicely, its so much more BITCH instead of WITCH now. I can’t say the same about those fug ass lace gloves she is wearing.
And in even more SHOCKING news Paris has officially spread herpes to the world!!! I knew we shouldn’t have let the BITCH go to Hawaii!!! Read Here…
Wow, this picture really takes the cake in things I see that I wish I could unsee, but its a typical Paris photo. And as concerned as I am for my eyes, I am even more worried about what happened to those bathing suit bottoms! They need to be disposed of properly, if Al Qaeda got a hold of those they could be starting a WMD program of unheard proportions!!! They could detonate them and give the entire eastern hemisphere a case of snatch herpes! BRING IN THE TROOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
We all know the BITCH is dumb, but she really proved herself twice over. First was the hand written apology that was filled with spelling errors, and now there is this. What I don’t understand is how BITCHney could spell “role” correctly in the first letter, but on her site she confused it with “roll”. My guess is the BITCH was hungry and thinking about some buttered rolls. But really, thanks BITCHney for such a honktastic day and being a true testament to the schools in this country.
When BITCHney unveiled her new hair, or hair piece, or weave or whatever the hell that thing on her head is the only thing I could think of was the upcoming show “The Search for the Next Elvira” auditions that are being held. What other look could she be going for? Red lipstick and raven hair are not a good look for her, but when does anything she wear look good on her? And why does her hair start so far back, she aint Naomi Campbell!!! BITCHney looking like old Britney is about as likely to happen as a success in Iraq. Both are just not gonna happen, and as sad as it is, I think we should call things like we see it and to be frank about it, BITCHney’s comeback and the war in Iraq are both big ol’ failures!!!
I have been saying advertisement is getting a little crazy, with people finding ways to sponsor things I would have never thought of, like power plays in hockey. But now, Fergie has stooped to a new low and will incorporate the company Candies into some of her lyrics for the sum of $4mil, and an Interscope exec issued this statement:
“With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan. Candie’s will have no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fergie does not sing jingles so it will have to work unobtrusively in the song.”
Either way you look at this, the BITCH is singing a jingle because she is getting paid four million dollars to mention a company during a song, so I dont know wtf that guy is trying to say.
And spreads her legs like always!!!! The thing you don’t know about these pictures of her in the ocean is that she was actually skiing, and Paris being the fabulous BITCH that she is doesn’t need skis. Why you ask??? Because of her size 30 feet! If anything in this world is hot, its BITCHES with feet bigger than Shaquille O’neal.
And might I add that I can tell this BITCH has really changed, just look at the loads of charitable work and donations she has made since being released! Oh…wait…she hasn’t done any of that shit!!!
p.s. I really, really like the diaper she puts on over her bikini in the last pics, its going to be the hottest trend of the summer, I just know it!!!
Somewhat popular Lily Allen was arrested, and promptly bailed, out of jail yesterday when she turned herself in for an assault in March. Who, you ask, did this stumpy little girl assault??? A paparazzi, and from pics it looks like she took advice from a cheerleader, and proceeded with the kick in the face method. I use to think “kick to the face” was not a realistic method of random fights, but apparently it works so well that a 21 year old female can beat down a 40 year old man with a camera. Good to know, good to know…
Wow, after watching that interview last night I am surprised I still have brain cells that are choosing to operate. I know it HAD to be Larry Kings low point in life, and I couldn’t help but laugh when they would show the upcoming Thursday show, which features Colin Powell with the title of “The state of the US and world”, which is much better suited for Larry King programming. Its hilarious to me that they would even invite her on the show, and you think with 23 days to prepare Hilton would have something smart to say, but nope, nothing. In fact I only heard LIES and dumb shit. Like when asked about what she disliked the most about herself and she answered “When I am nervous my voice gets really high.” Thats deep, REALLY deep, and honest to god she said it with a straight face. I think that alone is a testament to how much the BITCH has changed. When asked if she has ever used drugs or been addicted to drugs, she said no of course, but we all know thats a lie, as you can see in these lovely videos:
What I dont understand is why Larry let her get away with so much…like when she denied doing drugs, why didn’t he just play these videos? I mean, its not like I have exclusive rights to these, they are pretty much all over the freaking internet. I would like to think Larry knew this interview was a gimmick and didn’t put to much into it, but come on, the guy kept saying ADT instead of ADD. And I almost choked on a taquito when I heard her say that her favorite subject is creative writing, since she is a drop out and her heiress book says intelligent things like “never wake up before 10″, and her notes from jail sounded like a bad philosophy paper by a third grader who thinks philosophy is a company owned by Pillsbury. With written work like that though, the BITCH might just be our modern day Dr. Seuss!!!
If you have some extra time and would like some good laughs I have the entire Larry King show with Paris after the jump! (more…)
Unfortunately for us, it appears BITCHney is back into the trend of the see through turtleneck with a cheap bra look, even though she has done it to death. I just hope one day, when I have kids, I will have a photo album filled with pictures as classy as BITCHney’s so they can look back and remember what a GREAT mother I was. I mean, so what if there aren’t pictures of them in it? As long as we got all the ones of me in a sequined bra and no panties, with my shirt on my head, doing body shots off off a stripper I will be doing as well, if not better, than BITCHney!!
The BITCH is whiter than a sheet, as white as the driven snow, Casper Clear, the same color as elmer’s glue and cocaine….I could keep going, but I think you get the point. Its hard for me to believe that she owns a bikini and can be this pale for real.
I still always wonder if this BITCH feels bad about supporting the anorexia craze back in her day…but from the looks of the twigs she is walking on I doubt she does.
NBC will reportedly be paying $1 million to secure the first interview Paris Hilton does once she is free. And I am not a genius or anything, but paying $1mil for a drunk driving porn star seems like a rip off. I am sure they could of got Tera Patrick for a lot less and with a lot more benefits. The only difference between the two is that Tera Patrick publicly markets her sex tapes, Paris pretends they are stolen! Also, I heard she can’t be in the Porn Star Pro Circuit because of her little disorder that rhymes with schmerpes.
We have heard complaints from Cameron Diaz about the paparazzi circling the Hilton home, but now more neighbors are joining in on the anti-Paris campaign and asking that the star leave their once quite neighborhood and give them some peace! This flyer has been passed around to the neighbors, and legal counsel is being sought:
The BITCH’s neighbors even hate her, but talk about kicking a dog(or BITCH) when they are down! I would feel bad for most people, but since Paris Hilton doesn’t have a soul it’s just plain funny! I wonder if moving houses is going to cause a delay in the post lockup bash thats being planned in Vegas? I hope not because I can’t wait to see this BITCH partying and up to her old tricks again!! And by tricks, I mean turning tricks….for free…on defenseless people.
Leave it to Paris Hilton to spend more state money than any other inmate. Since she is pretending she has severe medical issues, she has to be kept in the special medical ward, which costs $1109.78 a day versus the normal costs of $99.64. Now if she really needed the medical assistance that badly while in jail, she would need it outside of jail as well. But we all know what Paris does when she is not in jail, and its not cry and not eat, its party and booze! And I must say, if she is medically this bad off, I don’t think daddy Hilton should be planning a release party in Las Vegas but instead needs to subsequently enroll her into a psychiatric ward. Because really, if she has to have this much medical aid to get through the jail visit she has serious other issues that need to be addressed. Mary Tiedemen, Director of the ACLU, whatever the hell that means, said this about the condition a prisoner needs to be in before getting into the medical ward:
Mary Tiedeman, who monitors jails for the ACLU, told the AP Hilton is being housed in an area usually reserved for high-security inmates or those with severe health problems: “I don’t know what her health issue is, but you have got to have a pretty intense medical or mental health problem to be in that part of the jail.”
And even Rick and Kathy Hilton gave a tidbit about their daughter’s “awful” stint in jail, stating:
“She’s very scared…..It’s tough in there. It’s cold.”
Out of everything to complain about, such as the fungi outbreak the jail has experienced, they complain about it being cold??? I am sorry, but if the worse thing you can complain about in jail is it being to cold, I think you are going to be okay. I highly doubt that is the main complaint of the normal peasant prisoners.
So fans of Paris…..is the BITCH really crazy and needs to medical attention or is she just faking?? Not that being one or the other makes it better, either she is crazy or a liar so which is it??? Let me know….
Talk about kicking a BITCH when they are down! It has just been reported that Paris no longer has an agent! Endeavor Talent Agency confirmed they no longer represented the ousted heiress, saying “Paris is no longer a client.”. Us magazine reports:
“There was a lot of tension between Paris and her agents for a while. Her legal messes have totally consumed her, and she was always a difficult client. The goal was to make her the Martha Stewart of her generation. It just didn’t work out that way.”
I guess she wasn’t able to book enough jobs from jail so they had to let the BITCH go! And isn’t it kind of an oxy moron to employ Paris Hilton and call yourself the Endeavor Talant Agency???
What I dont get is why people let her leave the house looking like this? I would never go out with my hair looking like that, and I don’t even have a sea of paparazzi following me around! BITCHney is literally as trashy as Roseanne Barr. I really hope for a come back, but it will be just like Anna Nicole Smith, no matter how skinny she got, all I could think of is Anna Nicole fat on her show and trying to crawl under the table and her ass kept getting stuck. I will always think of Britney with these horrible extensions, boobies out, cellulite showing and kids in tow on the way to the bar.
In a collect call placed to Barbara Walters on Sunday, Paris talked about her past behavior and how she wishes to change it. ABC reports:
“I used to act dumb,” she told Walters in the exclusive phone conversation. “That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. … God has given me this new chance.” Hilton confirmed to Walters just how terrible her initial three days in jail were. It might explain why she cried when she was handcuffed and transported back to jail from her Hollywood home. “I was not eating or sleeping,” she said. “I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage. … It was a horrible experience.”
Well, I guess the BITCH didn’t decide to act smart during this interview.
Most people do feel depressed when they go to jail, I don’t know anyone who is ever excited about that. And as far as feeling like you are in a cage while you are in jail, NO SHIT! It is a cage you dumb BITCH! What did she think it would feel like? A room at the Palms or the Hilton???
There really is a God and he has answered my prayers! Super skanky Paris Hilton was ordered today to go back to jail after her short house arrest hiatus. The judge must be a super hero or something, impervious to her skank appeal and money! After the sentencing Paris was heard screaming “It’s not fair!!!” and “Mom!” which is kind of funny because just earlier this week she said this:
“I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes.â€
and
“This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence.â€
But I guess she didn’t really mean those prepared statements from her lawyers, because when the judge said she would have to serve out the remainder of her sentence, 18 days(23 days minus the 5 she has served) she cried like the little BITCH she is. But fortunately for the rest of us, the herpes covered boozer is safely behind bars where she belongs!
Speaking about the status of her mental health, the sheriff said this:
“This lady has some severe problems.”….”I can’t trust her tenuous status,”
Unfortunately for us her lawyer is already preparing her appeal, pleading habeus corpus, which means something like illegal holding of the body and she will be spending the weekend in the medical ward of the jail….my guess is because the high risk of a full blown herpes pandemic!
Paris Hilton is a free woman!!! What a bunch of bullshit!
After serving only 3 of the 23 days she was sentenced to, TMZ is reporting that the drunk driving BITCH has been released! Which basically means her jail visit was a freaking joke, and she better not try to talk about how hard those 3 measly days were, and she sure as hell better not put a book out talking about her jail stay. Because if you really go over her jail stay, it kind of sounds like a short vacation. I thought this was suppose to give her time to think??? In three days I would be surprised if Paris even had time to get past reading the covers of the books she went to jail with. Lucky for Paris that our judicial system is even dumber than her!
The BITCH didn’t even have time to get shanked, which just ruins the whole jail visit if you ask me.
UPDATE:The BITCH got out on medical release!! Since when is having herpes enough to get you out of jail?????? She will be wearing an ankle bracelet and house arrest for 40 days!!!
UPDATE Part Deux: The medical reason she was released was MENTAL. Because she was about to have a nervous breakdown! Once again, thats ALL a load of bullshit! I really thought Paris was above this, but the herpes slut isn’t below anything besides random guys! Normal people cant be released because they might have a mental breakdown. I bet half the people in jail are going through mental breakdowns all the time, and thats probably why some of them are there, but they dont get to go home early!
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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