I guess Paris is short on friends these days, and told the London Sun, in reference to Victoria Beckham a.k.a. Posh:
“I just know Victoria and I would get along. We could be soul mates.â€
But the wonderfully BITCHY Posh said:
“Over my dead body! We couldn’t be more different. You won’t catch me falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on.â€
What I think she meant by that was that you want catch her acting like a drunken slut flashing her crotch to the papz. Paris has been out of jail for a month-ish time, and already we have new nip slips and panty flashes, so you stupid people who believe its an accident need to wake up and realize she does it on PURPOSE because she is an attention whore!
And Posh was definitely right on one aspect of them being more different, Hilton’s show the Simply Life actually has rating and more than one episode. Not that I am hating on Posh’s show, I actually thought it was pretty funny and I LOVED her sense of humor!!! And with ratings or not, at least it didn’t come with a script, multiple takes and a fake romance like the Simple Life. Plus, who really cares about rating when its made up of 12-14 year old girl sluts in training and old pervs????
See who Posh is going to have to deal with now for saying that about Paris, and the unedited picture above after the jump!!!!!
Page Six printed a not so blind item today, so lets see if y’all can guess who it is:
Which hard-partying starlet has figured out a way to get high while wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet? She was asking where she could score some Ecstasy at a Vegas club the other night…
Hmm if that wasn’t obvious enough my BITCH nuggets, maybe these photo’s will help a little bit. And if you still don’t know who it is after this, GTFO right now.
As much as I love posting stories about coke binges and car crashes, I really hope this isn’t true. She needs to get her shit together, and until I heard this I thought the BITCH was doing great, but maybe not….
Supposedly Paris Hilton is trying to take this music thing serious, which is kind of funny if you ask me because she got dropped from her last record label after her album pushed a measly 77,000 copies, which means there are 77,000 people in America who are complete mentals. I would have rather burned my money than spent in on that shit cd. Here is what Paris had to say to E! about her latest album:
“I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks.”
I like how this BITCH tries to convince us that by working with Scott Storch her album will be good. Scott Storch is a beat maker, not a sorcerer or wizard that can magically make an album not suck. If you forgot, he also did Brooke Hogan’s album, proving he will work with anyone that can pay for a beat. I expect it will have lots of good production ruined by shitty lyrics and off key singing.
Also, after the jump, a picture of Paris’ number one fanstalker!!!! If you leave comments regularly you are going to LOVE this!!!
So basically Andy Dick hasn’t been funny since, well…since ever really, and it seems other comedians think the same way because last week Jon Lovitz, who is funny and awesome, beat Andy down like the BITCH he is! Why you ask? According to Jon, who was good friends with the deceased Phil Hartman, about a year earlier Andy approached him and said: ‘I put the “Phil Hartman hex” on you - you’re the next one to die.’. So when Jon ran into Andy at the Laugh Factory he was looking for an apology, and when he didn’t get one he kind of beat one out of Andy. Page Six reports:
“Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, “Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose.” Lovitz told Page Six, “All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole.”
I hope video of this is released soon, because it would be the funniest thing Andy Dick has starred in the last two decades. And I would just like to add in closing that Jon Lovitz is one cool mo fo.
50 cent’s latest song, “I Get Money”, is pretty much one of the worst rip offs of a song I have ever heard. Lil Flip has almost exactly the same song, and he recorded it wayyyy before Curtis did. What makes it worse is that Lil Flip put a video out for the song over a month ago, and 50 still went forward with this single.
To me this looks like another example of a rapper who blew up, lost all originality and now rips off less known rappers to the generally public. Sounds like a cheap way to get money if you ask me.
I bet the album is getting pushed back so he can record some other rappers songs and put them on the album quick!!!
This is a great example to why I would take Young Buck over all of G-Unit any day.
And who can blame her??? Her album sales aren’t doing well, her tour is canceled and she has problems with Clive Davis, who just happens to be head of the record label. Kelly had this to say about Clive and her album:
“I don’t know you very well, and I am not a bull-[bleep]er. I get [that] you don’t like the album. You’re 80; you’re not supposed to like my album.” She also said: “I literally got told to my face that it wouldn’t sell more than 600,000 copies. And I got lied to. One reason I don’t like working with people at the label is that they lie . . . If you’re going with the flow and not fighting, that’s settling. I can’t take that. Life is just too short to be a pushover.”
I can’t even believe this BITCH took food out of her mouth long enough to say all this. She better be careful talking shit on Clive Davis though, he has been in the industry for way longer than the American Idol winner, and has signed MANY an artist before Kelly and I am sure he will sign many more after her, if he lives that long.
But we all know the BITCH isn’t! She sent a letter to X17 apologizing for the incident where she attacked a photographer and a car with an umbrella with her head shaved. Inside the mistakenly spelled letter, BITCHney tries to be sarcastic and take stabs at Kevin, and if it was suppose to make her look better, then she failed miserably. The letter reads:
Dear x17
I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn’t play his part so they swap places. Unfortunatly I didn’t get the part. I’m sorry I got alil carried away with my role!
Britney
Actually, BITCHney I think you did get the part! You have completely switched places with Kfed, because at one point you were considered the good parent whereas now thats Kevin. I just didn’t realize the “role” meant you had to act trashier than him! In fact, I didn’t even realize “trashier than Kfe” existed, but I’ll be damned if you didn’t just go and prove it!
I think I will call this correlation “BITCHney’s theory of relative trashiness”.
By wearing PRISON JUMPSUIT ORANGE!! While the color actually looks not too bad on her, its still a fug dress that is ill fitting. But Jess herself looks the best I have seen her in a while, all those gym visits are paying off! She always looks her best when she doesn’t overkill the makeup and looks more natural, because the makeup has a tendency to make her look tranny, especially when paired with the BITCH’s wide shoulders. Overall though, I will chalk this one up as a win for Jess.
For once in my life someone I wanted to win on a gameshow finally did! I feel bad for the BITCH though, Mo’nique should have coughed up some more money, because $50,000 will barely be able to buy a house…actually, I don’t even know if thats enough at all to buy a house, which homeless Saaphyri could really use!! And even though the finale was full of cheesiness and crying, it was cute to see Saaphyri get her makeover, because I been saying the BITCH is pretty, you just can’t tell because of her giant boobs and brightly colored weave!
I love when Leilene, Becky and Saaphyri all teamed up on Shay. Not only is Shay a crybaby for complaining when the tables are turned on her, she is a SNITCH and as everyone knows, I don’t have ANY love for SNITCHES!! SNITCHES = BITCHES and not the good kind either!!!
But anyways, YAY! for my BITCH winning the show and hopefully being able to buy a house now!
With his new movie “Sicko” hitting theaters this weekend, Michael Moore is set to make some cash! He will be receiving a whopping 50% of the gross profit from his movie, which could mean some serious money flow coming his way if his movie does as well as 9/11, with projections that it will do MUCH better. But he isn’t going to just sit around getting fat (no pun intended) with his money, Moore had this to say about it:
“It’s a really interesting irony for me,†Moore says of his expected financial windfall. “What it should do to me is remind me every single day that I have an even greater responsibility to do good with the success that I have been blessed with. I need to make sure that I am able to make the next film with the money that I have made on this film. The money allows me to never have to give in, never compromise. Nothing can ever be held over my head in the sense of, ‘If you don’t do this, we won’t give you your money!’ ‘Oh, wow, I guess I’ll be in really bad shape, won’t I?’ That’s an enormous bit of freedom that I have — to stay completely true to the things I believe in. But I have an even greater responsibility because I have been blessed with that great success. I challenge myself with that, constantly.â€
I love this fucking slob, he is awesome, I just absolutely love him. It really is time that this healthcare BS changes, because like I have said a million times, you cant judge a nation on how it treats its high class society. You have to look and see how they treat the poverty stricken, and the criminal offenders, because only then can you see the nations true ethics. And I’m sorry, between this healthcare situation, Hurricane Katrina and the jailing system I have to say America is not place to send your weary, tired and hungry, and it most definitely is not where you should send your sick either!
Also, Michael Moore will be on Larry King Live tonight, after being bumped from his Wednesday show for Paris Hilton. He should really stick it to the old toad Larry King because getting bumped for the parole violation princess was straight up DISRESPECTFUL!!!!
Wow, after watching that interview last night I am surprised I still have brain cells that are choosing to operate. I know it HAD to be Larry Kings low point in life, and I couldn’t help but laugh when they would show the upcoming Thursday show, which features Colin Powell with the title of “The state of the US and world”, which is much better suited for Larry King programming. Its hilarious to me that they would even invite her on the show, and you think with 23 days to prepare Hilton would have something smart to say, but nope, nothing. In fact I only heard LIES and dumb shit. Like when asked about what she disliked the most about herself and she answered “When I am nervous my voice gets really high.” Thats deep, REALLY deep, and honest to god she said it with a straight face. I think that alone is a testament to how much the BITCH has changed. When asked if she has ever used drugs or been addicted to drugs, she said no of course, but we all know thats a lie, as you can see in these lovely videos:
What I dont understand is why Larry let her get away with so much…like when she denied doing drugs, why didn’t he just play these videos? I mean, its not like I have exclusive rights to these, they are pretty much all over the freaking internet. I would like to think Larry knew this interview was a gimmick and didn’t put to much into it, but come on, the guy kept saying ADT instead of ADD. And I almost choked on a taquito when I heard her say that her favorite subject is creative writing, since she is a drop out and her heiress book says intelligent things like “never wake up before 10″, and her notes from jail sounded like a bad philosophy paper by a third grader who thinks philosophy is a company owned by Pillsbury. With written work like that though, the BITCH might just be our modern day Dr. Seuss!!!
If you have some extra time and would like some good laughs I have the entire Larry King show with Paris after the jump! (more…)
Australia has officially kicked John Stamos a.k.a. Uncle Jesse out of the country after he did two media appearances while being completely smashed. Rumor is that he spent a lot of time at a strip club in Sydney the night before, hence the hungover hobo look. He already admitted to being jet lagged and drunk, but with excuses like that he might end up in rehab. And while its pretty crazy to see Uncle Jesse plastered, its even crazier that you can actually be kicked out of a country for being too drunk during interviews.
And this just taught me how to travel the world by simply buying one way tickets: I will just travel to my place of interest and enjoy my stay, then when I am ready to come home I just need to convince someone that I am somebody they should interview, get wasted, do the interview and BAM! I’m on my way home, with money in my pocket! BOOYAH BITCHES!
Us Magazine is reporting that their magazine will contain absolutely no trace of Paris Hilton whatsoever this week, which means no post jail interviews or pictures. Us Magazine weekly editor Janice Min had this to say about the magazines decision to ban Paris from their pages, from the AP:
“When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue,†US Weekly editor Janice Min told The Associated Press on Tuesday.
Min expects her magazine will do just fine without her. Hilton, she said, has become such a mainstream media staple “that in many ways her time with US Weekly has moved on.”
She also added that if Paris got knocked up she would be back to the main cover, so basically, she admitted they are sellouts and they are using the lack of Paris Hilton to generate publicity, which is kind of still using her to sell magazines. Whatever their reasoning, lets hope this trend catches on worldwide.
Barbara Walters decided to spill the beans on why she skipped interviewing a fresh out of jail Paris Hilton, saying:
“Look, I’ve done prison interviews before, but people like the Menendez Brothers were really important news stories. This wasn’t. And even though I’d already written my questions, when all that pay-for-play stuff happened, I suddenly felt this was not up to my standard. It . . . felt . . . sort of . . . tawdry. The whole thing somehow was beneath me. Besides, it was a no-win. If I did a tough piece and her tears started to flow, it would be, ‘Oh, there’s Barbara Walters making people cry again.’ Too soft, and I’d be criticized. [ABC] they wanted it. For them it was ratings. For me it was respect. I’m fortunately at a point in my life where I can choose what I want, and this was solely my decision. But I must tell you how classy ABC was. They didn’t try to force me or say they’d place it on Nightline, or give it to someone else to do or any of the things they could have done. They respected my decision and walked away. Some agreed with my decision, some didn’t. For me it was just a question of respect.â€
Finally someone with a freaking brain in their head! While this story is surely entertaining and interesting, it is not real news, and we shouldn’t be seeing this BITCH’s face on CNN and other news channels as their main story. In case they forgot, America is in the middle of “not” being at war and being broke, you think maybe that would just be a little more interesting for real news.
I know I give the rich BITCH a lot of grief, but only deservedly so! However, during part of the interview she did with Ryan Seacrest, which is being released ever so slowly so they can make more money off it, she DID say something SMART! Yes you read that correctly. Paris Hilton actually said something SMART! I swear it! And here is the proof from US magazine:
Hilton tells Seacrest that she hopes to build a “transitional home” to help women when they are released from jail. “These women just keep coming back because they have no place to go,” she explains.
Hilton says the home can be “a place to get food and clothes on their backs,” continuing that the recidivism rate is “a really bad cycle and if we stop it now, we can make our community a better place.”
There might be transitions in Hilton’s future as well, as she tells Seacrest she’s ready start fresh. “I appreciate everything now and I think there was a lot of bad people that I was around and I don’t want to surround myself with those types of people anymore.”
I really hope the BITCH does this, because it is a very good thing, and could actually help some people who are a lot less privileged than the heiress. IF, and I say IF because I won’t believe it till I see it, she does this, I hope she takes it seriously and its not just something she starts and we never hear her talk about it again, then when we do its a dilapidated crack house thats filing bankruptcy. I know pictures will eventually emerge of Paris there, snorting coke of a parolee and giving lap dances to the newly released, because thats just how the BITCH does things!
Rosie O’Donnell told fans, via video on her website:
“Here’s the thing. I don’t really need a job. I’m in a weird position. I don’t need the money. I know you’re not allowed to talk about money in America, but I’m just saying I don’t. So to get my entire family uprooted from their lives and move them across the country so that I can have a fantasy childhood indulgence job just doesn’t seem fair. They all are in school, they have friends, we love their school, we love our community, our house, our life, our home. If they were able to do it in New York it would be a different story. But it looks like it ain’t gonna happen.”
And all I can say is THANK GOD!!! I like Rosie well enough, but replacing Bob Barker is something she simply cannot do, and I don’t even want to see her try. I think Bob should be replaced with an equally old, perverted man….maybe Jack Nicholson is available???
With rumored interviewdeals gone awry, Paris has moved forward and secured her first televised interview since her stint in jail with none other than Larry King, the news toad! She will be on for the full hour of “Larry King Live” this Wednesday night, and Monday night her lawyer and an official from LA County’s Sheriff Department will make an appearance on the show.
I cant wait to see what this BITCH has to say!!!
Uncensored pic of Hilton and her “mic” after the jump!
The results are in, and according to Mel B and the court ordered DNA test, Eddie Murphy is the proven father! These results come after a long ordeal of tabloid bashing and baby denying, so it will be interesting to see where Eddie goes with this.
All I can say is get ready to pay up BITCH because Mel B is a woman scorned publicly, and I bet she is going to get as much as she can from this!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I know she is getting older and whatever, but I still like this BITCH!! In fact I love her! She recently updated her online diary with a new entry:
6/21/2007
Finland
Having so much fun performing the more dangerous illusions with Hans. No turning back now. Vegas forever. I’m completely in love. I left New York for Finland today. Just arrived with my father. Our heritage is here. We are both excited. We will be taking lots of saunas. Save my liver. Also I thought of a great way to celebrate my Finnish heritage at home. I’m going to look into opening a chain of strips club and ill call them LAPLAND!!!
And of course no more fur farms. So old fashion. There are hundreds here. The demand is getting lower for fur coats and they breed foxes here just for fur. Aweful. I’ve written the President a letter. Sweden, Austria and England have banned fur farms. Let’s hope Finland will too. Other than that I’m very proud of my Finnish heritage. It is the most beautiful countryside. I’m going to try and convince some relatives to come visit me in Vegas.
I am so happy for this BITCH! She uses her fame to do exactly what she wants, and actually has convictions. She is by far smarter and does more for her causes than all of young Hollywood combined! And in comparison to Paris Hilton’s fan letter, this diary entry could win a nobel prize in literature! She also talked about her liver, so I hope she isn’t feeling unwell! I could live in a world without the Paris’s and Lindsay’s, but I don’t know what I would do without Pammy!!!
Welcome to the Head Bitch, a hollywood celebrity blog specializing in providing the latest news and gossip, and proving who the top bitch really is while making these celebitches cry.
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