A LOT of Americans hate on France, and I don’t think I ever quite understood why.  My latest hypothesis is because this is what their president’s wife looks like, while ours looks like a month old bag of potatoes in a unisex suit.

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You would be able to notice the greatest F-ING wallpaper of all time! I want to wallpaper my entire living room with the bunny humping paper! And Bar Rafeali ain’t looking too rough herself, but give her a break, its hard to compete with pink bunnies that are doing it.

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Here she is in the latest St. John ads making the rest of the world look like little fug monster nuggets.

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We have seen bits and pieces of Lindsay Lohan splashed throughout tabloids as beaver and nip slips alike have been published for everyone to see, but now, officially, she has done a nudey shoot! Why now you ask? Probably because she hasn’t had a cover of a tabloid in quite some time due to bitchneymania. In what is a tribute to Marilyn Monroe, who herself posed for the same pictures decades ago, Lohan bares all through flimsy fabrics and I must say, the bitch has a SMOKING body, but she also has an infinity number of freckles!!! I know she can’t help it, but she is so freckly she looks dirty! She needs to find some SPF 200,000 and walk under an umbrella for the rest of her life, because, well, to be quite frank, her freckles are making me sick, and I would hate to see her get anymore, if thats even possible. She should also try to find whats left of her career, if thats possible as well.

After the jump is all the NSFW images I could gather, plus some of Marilyn Monroe’s pics from the original photoshoot! Lots of NIPS involved!

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Two of hollywood’s hottest, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson graced the cover of W magazine it a funky, goth type of photo shoot.

Both bitches look hot, but who looks the hottest??? Usually I prefer blondes, but I think Portman looks super sexy in these pics. Plus, Scarlett has a disgusting multicolored arm tattoo that makes me barf.

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Is she going to have what it takes to become a “real” actress?   I dunno, but usually when I see her, she is holy-shit-im-gonna-faint-because-this-bitch-is-so-hot hot, but something about this outfit/hair just isn’t doing it for me.

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It is almost freaking impossible to find a pap picture of Katherine Heigl where she doesn’t have a nasty ass cancer stick in her face. Much less at a table where people are trying to eat.

If she keeps smoking like a chimney, she is going to be looking like Dee Snider in about 10 years. Which would be such a shame, because the bitch is beautiful AND a great actress.

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I mean really, this bitch thinks she is famous enough to stop dressing like a ho? BITCH PLEASE! If she aint showing off her boobs or booty, she needs to get to stepping, because really, after watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” I can, without a doubt, say that is about all she is good for.

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Bad tattoos. I bet they will look really HOTT when she is 65 and Mariyln Monroe’s looking older than she ever got in real life.

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I don’t care what anyone says about her, her curves are AMAZING and she knows how to work them too!

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Honestly, this is the best Lindsay Lohan has looked in a LOOOOONG LONG time. And she doesn’t just look good, she looks hot, like majorly hot. Lets hope for a post rehab Playboy!!!!

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Rumors are flying all around Pamela Anderson this week, first there was her application for a wedding license with none other than Paris Hilton’s ex sex tape costar, Rick Solomon. And now people are reporting that they are getting married because Pam is a preggo!!! And at this point I should make it very clear, I DO NOT LIKEY! Why would she get with herpe Hilton’s ex? And if this BITCH is knocked up several things could go wrong, especially because of her age, and she might not be able to get the preggo weight off this time!!!!! Just say NO to babies people!

And yes, that little tiny bulge by her waist is suppose to be a baby bump, but I think the BITCH mighta just ate lunch or something.

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This is that shit I have been talking about! Shakira has announced that she is making a $40 million dollar donation to Peru and Nicaragua, in attempt to aid them in repairs after experiencing an earthquake and a hurricane. The donation comes from a foundation that Shakira co-founded with Nobel Prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez. She also pledged to give $5 million to helping the children of those areas, where 41% of the population lives below the poverty line.

I must say, with a combined donation plan of $45 million dollars, Shakira sure does make Paris’ donation seem quite laughable.

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The always flawless, and beautiful, Dita Von Teese is pushing for the use of Animal Birth Control, which could be used to curb the outrageous numbers of pigeons in cities, among other purposes. And I must say, I like the cause and I really likey the lady.

But it drives me crazy, how is this BITCH always so perfect looking?

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I love her “flaws” and we haven’t seen her recently, its Kim K and her giant donkey out and about. What really sucks about Kim K is that she likes to do things in reverse order, like first, she got famous for a sex tape. Then she decided to do Playboy, and she is only showing one boob and her butt, which leads me to believe this BITCH has a time machine, because if anything has taught me anything, its that by now, we should be getting x-rays of her uterus by now.

Oh and you have to wait till December to see the uniboob and butt.

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BITCHney at the VMA’s vs. Aguilera at the Emmy’s

Here are the pics of Christina working the red carpet at the Emmy’s as well, and I think we can all agree that Christina has indefinitely won the fight against BITCHney.

Who do you think won???

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Here is the golden couple the 64th Venice Film Festival, and if I must say, they were look fan-freaking-tastic! They are both very regal looking (except for some of the skanky tattoos) and as long as you don’t look at the pictures in full frame, you don’t even see Angelina’s zombie arms! But I can’t make too much fun of them, because whether or not its positive or negative, they bring attention to some of the most poverty stricken places in the world. And its nice to be able to hear an interview that has some substance to it, and instead of talking about DUI’s and arrest, they talk about their ever growing family and offering assistance to these third world countries. Don’t get me wrong though, I think its kind of weird how fast they multiply their numbers by, and according to this article in People, Brad says they are planning to add more soon:

“It’s the most fun I have ever had and also the biggest pain in the ass I have ever experienced,” he told reporters at the Venice Film Festival on Sunday. “(But) I love it and I can’t recommend it any more highly.” When asked by Italian state TV if he and partner Angelina Jolie were ready for a fifth child, Pitt replied: “Yeah, we’re ready.”

On how having the kids effects his life:

“It makes me much more efficient,” he says, “because that’s the main focus. It makes me feel when I do have time to work, I really do have to focus because there is a really short window to get something done. I am quite pleased by it all.”

Weird but cute. So it evens out.

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Wow, a lot of preggo’s need to take note on what Gwen Stefani did to get back in shape after having a kid. Granted, a worldwide tour is pretty good motivation to lose that post pregnancy weight, but whatever the reason, the BITCH looks great. And she always has dope sunglasses, it makes me jealous.

What doesn’t make me jealous anymore is the fact that she married Gavin Rossdale. I use to think he was really hot (I was like 13) but now, he is just kinda fug and looks like he tries to hard. And his sandals make me wanna barf.

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Usually I am the one BITCHing about the way young Hollywood conducts themselves, but Keira Knightley decided to give me a break today, and talked shit about them for me! She is quoted as saying:

“With acting the mystique is what’s amazing. I love that it’s magic, that’s the whole point. The whole celebrity thing is not magic. They’re real people proving they’re shittier than everybody else because they don’t even wear knickers. I’m not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people. I’m not saying I don’t do that on my own in private, but I try not to.”

I must say, I likey what I heary. She just left out the part of them being shittier than everyone else because they hoard money while children die from poverty every single day.

And I would just also like to add that Keira Knightley look fan-freaking-tastic in this picture.

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Which makes sense, but what doesn’t make sense is her insanely in shape body! This BITCH must live in the gym. But I guess when you are gearing up for a world wide reunion of the Spice Girls you want to look your best. Back in the day though she was always the hot one of the group, I wonder if she will still hold that title or if Posh is taking over? I bet thats the REAL reason she wants to be in such great shape.

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