this BITCH bites...
Apr 11

The BEST family video ever.

Published in Did you see this shit?, Family Feud, Funny Shit, Videos by The Head Bitch | 3 comments »
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The girl in the video here is a mega dumb slut. And a myspace ho at that. However, her brother and mother are hi-freaking-larious!

Note to all myspace sluts: YOU COULD GET RAPED IN THE BUTT!!!!

   
TAGS: Did you see this shit?, Family Feud, Funny Shit, Videos Permalink 3 comments »
 


Apr 7

Just want to let yall know whats going on!

Published in You see what that BITCH did? by The Head Bitch | one comment
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I know, I know, you are probably like where tha fuck tha post at…BUT I have got good news!   We are going to be updating with LOTS of new features, so you can have avatars and all kinds of good shit when you leave comments, plus a ton of other things!  Its going to be an awesome revamp relaunch!  Then posting will be back as always!!!

xoxox

thb

   
TAGS: You see what that BITCH did? Permalink one comment
 


Mar 26

GASP! Paris Hilton in Africa

Published in BITCH slapped, Dumb BITCH, Paris Hilton, Pictures, stupid BITCH by The Head Bitch | 4 comments »
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Paris Hilton in Africa 1

Unfortunately, it wasn’t for charity, it was for her latest loser boyfriend, Benji Madden, who was having a “concert” there.  I use that term loosely, because, I refuse to believe that douche is in a band that could actually be getting paid to make money.  But anyways, Paris Hilton did manage to hand out pics of herself, and autograph them, which sounds like the Hilton fame monger we know.  What even sounds more like the Parisite that we know, is her lack of knowledge of Africa, and its many countries which she displayed when asked about Africa:

I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”

Like, I know the dumb bitch is a high school dropout, but when is the last time YOU have heard of anyone talking about the country West Africa???  My guess is going to be never, considering it DOESN”T EXIST!    But since the dumbass likes it so much, maybe her and her douchey boyfriend could go get lost there!

Paris Hilton in Africa 2 Paris Hilton in Africa 3 Paris Hilton in Africa 4 Paris Hilton in Africa 5

 

   
TAGS: BITCH slapped, Dumb BITCH, Paris Hilton, Pictures, stupid BITCH Permalink 4 comments »
 


Mar 26

I guess Lindsay Lohan was missing the spotlight

Published in Boobs BITCH, Fug Fashion, Lindsay Lohan, Pictures by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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Lindsay Lohan no bra 1

So she decided to show off her headlights!!!  And the ugliest fucking shoes I have possibly ever seen.  THESE shoes are NOT fashionable, and I don’t care WHO says they are, because they are NOT.  Maybe when Jesus or Gladiators were alive these things were considered fly, but come on people!!!!  Take a good look at these, and try to honestly tell me these things are nice, and that you wouldn’t feel like a retard chasing a boomerang wearing them.

Linday Lohan no bra 2 Lindsay Lohan no bra 3

   
TAGS: Boobs BITCH, Fug Fashion, Lindsay Lohan, Pictures Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 26

The Hogans get SUED!

Published in Busted BITCH, Drunk BITCH, Dumb BITCH, Nick Hogan by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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Nick Hogan car crash

You might remember Nick Hogan almost killing his friend, John Graziano, in a street racing accident, which has left his friend in a hospital for months now, and resulted in having part of his freaking brain removed, as well as Nick gathering several criminal charges, including a minor driving under the inlfuence:

The suit will seek damages in the millions, said attorney George Tragos, but the exact amount is not known because it remains unclear how expensive Graziano’s care will be. Tragos said the former Marine’s medical bills already exceed $1 million. Lawyers today said that a portion of Graziano’s frontal lobe had to be removed because of the crash. He is in a “semi-conscious” state and responds to certain stimuli like heat and touch, lawyers said.

And you know what I have to say about this??? HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HA HA! Thats what happens when rich parents let their douchebag kids drive around in Vipers and call themselves “racers”. And its not that I dislike the Hogans, I watch that stupid effing show every week when its on, but this is a lesson to parents everywhere, and a lesson to dumbass boys who think they are hotshit in their little souped up cars. Plus stunt 101ing like that is so fucking lame now, now its all about driving luxury cars and having NICE shit, instead of a viper covered in pathetic racing company stickers.

   
TAGS: Busted BITCH, Drunk BITCH, Dumb BITCH, Nick Hogan Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 26

Being morbidly obese is better than a bulletproof jacket?

Published in Did you hear about this shit? by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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Paul Prudhomme

Famed fat chef Paul Prudhomme, of New Orleans, was at a golf course, when he got freaking shot in the arm and thought it was a bee sting….. for reals:

 Prudhomme shook his shirt sleeve and a .22 caliber bullet fell to the ground, a spokesman for the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office said.
Deputies believe Prudhomme was hit by a falling bullet, probably shot about 9:30 a.m. from somewhere within a 1 1/2-mile radius of the golf course, said Col. John Fortunato. Prudhomme did not require medical attention.
“He thought it was a bee sting,” Fortunato said. “Within five minutes, he was back to doing his thing.”

Yall do realize that morbidly fat people are going to take over the world one day, right?  Now that they discovered they are impervious to bullets, my guess is the attacks will start soon at a McDonald’s near you!

   
TAGS: Did you hear about this shit? Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 24

Amy Winehouse gets naked for charity

Published in Amy Winehouse, What a nice BITCH, airbrushed BITCH by The Head Bitch | 2 comments »
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Amy Winehouse naked

Amy Winehouse posed nude for this shoot, that will be featured in April’s Easy Living magazine, to help increase breast cancer awareness in young women. Its nice to see that someone with as many personal vices as she clearly has, would still take the time to bring attention to such an important issue.

And I guess this would be a good time to tell yall something quite personal, which is this past September I lost my aunt to a LONG(we are talking years here) battle against cancer, that originally manifested as breast cancer. In memory of her, and for her, this November I will be walking in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day event, which will travel approximately 60 miles, and requires everyone that walks to raise a minimum of $2300, which is part of why this event is soo HUGE! In 2006 they raised over $61 mil that went directly to breast cancer research. I will be on a team with my cousin(it is her mom who we are walking for), and our team name is “The Lanie Bugs”, as my Aunt’s name is DeLane and she LOVED lady bugs. And while we are only required to raise $2300 each, we would really love to raise as much as possible, and so if any of you bitch nuggets can dig deep and donate to a VERY good cause, I would be very thankful.

I f you do wish to donate, just go to this link and proceed to make a donation directly to the Susan G Komen foundation! This money does NOT go to me in any way, it goes directly to the foundation, but its just a way for them to see how much each team has raised.

So please take time to donate to this cause, as its not only personal to me, but millions of others who have lost family members, or are currently fighting the battle against breast cancer. I know a lot of people don’t have tons of money to give, but even if you can only donate a dollar, please do, as every little bit helps and adds up!

   
TAGS: Amy Winehouse, What a nice BITCH, airbrushed BITCH Permalink 2 comments »
 


Mar 20

Seriously, this might be the best South Park episode ever!

Published in Britney Spears, Funny Shit by The Head Bitch | 2 comments »
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 Britney Spears on South Park

Last night South Park was the funniest shit ever, and I just wanted to include some highlights/quotes from the show, since it was all about Bitchney and the paparazzi, and how freaking crazy all this shit has gotten:

- Boys are watching a presidential debate, that is interrupted to say Britney Spears is in town.

- Britney Spears goes camping in South Park, where she pees outside on a ladybug and the picture goes for $100,000

- Kyle exclaims: “$100,000 for a picture of Britney peeing on a ladybug. Imagine what a picture of her crapping on a squirrel is worth!”  (see picture above of Butters in a squirrel outfit)

- The south park kids pretended to be her kids and sneak into the hotel she relocated to, then when she found out they were not really her kids, she shoots herself in the head, only to survive, headless of course.

-  She continues to perform at an award show, where people call her fat, and say she is lipsynching even though she doesn’t have a head and all her sounds are basically grunting.

- The boys give a speech on how the papz need to stop, or they are going to kill Britney, then basically the papz photograph her already headless body to death.  Really.

I love how South Park is the only show that will really push the envelope on everything that is currently happening in the news,  really goes to show Matt and Trey ain’t no bitches!!!  Because, as much as I love celebrity gossip, I  hate when I am trying to watch the “real” news, and they are talking about some celeb bullshit that has no place on the evening news.

   
TAGS: Britney Spears, Funny Shit Permalink 2 comments »
 


Mar 20

Who even cares about Jennifer Lopez and her stupid kids?

Published in Babies BITCH, Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony by The Head Bitch | 2 comments »
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Jennifer Lopez people kids

Honestly, I am so effing sick of people having babies, and then touting them on the cover of magazines for gazillions of dollars when no one wants to see any stupid babies, or their ugly little raisin faces.  I hate babies, and this has sparked by anger towards them, so if I see a baby today, I just might punt it across the room.

And can someone please explain to me why animal babies are so freaking cute, but baby humans just totally suck????

   
TAGS: Babies BITCH, Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony Permalink 2 comments »
 


Mar 20

Is there a Lindsay Lohan sex tape???

Published in Calum Best, Did you see this shit?, Lindsay Lohan, Oh Shit! Who leaked my sex tape?, Pictures by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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Lindsay Lohan sex tape edit

Rumors are flying this morning about a possible Lindsay Lohan sex tape, and there is even one blurry, pixelated picture being thrown around the internet, of a girl holding a wiener in her mouth.  Said picture(above) is suppose to be Lohan in a still shot of the film, that was recorded on a cell phone with her ex Calum Best, but apparently Miss Ho can’t remember it being filmed!!! From gossiprocks:

 ok well remember that whole lindsay lohan callum best sex tape thing a while back.. that turned out to be bogus..untill now. apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video. Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”. i shall have this picture soon hopefully, my friend is sending me it. she said that you can see lindsay giving oral…

Common sense tells me not to ever trust a blurry picture on the internet, but come on, you just KNOW its her, this bitch goes gaga for the cock!

See the unedited picture after the jump!

Continue reading…

   
TAGS: Calum Best, Did you see this shit?, Lindsay Lohan, Oh Shit! Who leaked my sex tape?, Pictures Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 19

Seal uses yo momma jokes on paparazzi

Published in Funny Shit, Seal, Videos by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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This shit is too funny, and just another reason I love him and Heidi! And he can bitch about the papz and its okay, because, guess why? He doesn’t live in the middle of LA!

   
TAGS: Funny Shit, Seal, Videos Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 19

Elliot Spitzer’s prostitute not gonna get paid from Girls Gone Wild

Published in Funny Shit, Joe Francis by The Head Bitch | one comment
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Elliot Spitzers prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupre

I have been out of the loop on posting this, but to just sum it up New York governor Elliot Spitzer was busted for spending over $80k on a prostitute named Ashley Alexandra Dupre.  Then Hustler and Girls Gone Wild, hoping to feature her in their new magazine,  both offered a million dollars to Ashley in the hopes of getting her naked for their pages.  BUT recently(and FINALLY) released from jail GGW owner, Joe Francis, hit the nudey pay dirt when he found old footage of her already getting naked and all kinds of shit in the Girls Gone Wild archives.

So this prostitute bitch effed her chances at a million dollars by getting on a bus a couple years ago and getting all freaky deaky for a tshirt or a hat.  It is rumored she has enough footage for SEVEN tapes, including some girl on girl footage.  You know she is at home feeling like the dumbest bitch on the planet!!!  Joe Francis had this to say about his previous offer of a mil, and finding the new footage:

“It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”
He said his employees got to work on pulling the footage and planned to offer it on the Web site by Tuesday evening, with a free sampling on the front page and the rest available with a $29.95 monthly subscription.

Speaking of Joe Francis, he is looking surprisingly hot, or perhaps its just the ex inmate vibe thats so sexy, I really don’t know, but these feelings are causing me to have mixed emotions and the last thing I need on spring break is to have a mental breakdown over the fact my brain can’t comprehend Joe Francis and the word “hot” in a sentence together. (see below picture for evidence of said hotness)

 Joe Francis is out of jail

 

   
TAGS: Funny Shit, Joe Francis Permalink one comment
 


Mar 19

Have you ever seen such a miserable person?

Published in Jessica Alba, Moody BITCH, Pictures by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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 Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 1

Jessica Alba must be the worst person to be around, because that bitch is always frowning and looking cunty.  Even in these pics where she is getting her nails done, she still looks half a second away from stomping around and tearing shit up Godzilla style.  Alba needs to lighten up stat, all those bad vibes are going to create one maniacal baby.  Plus, what baby wants to looking into that piehole of despair she has been calling a face???  And its definitely not that she has a fug face, she just fugs it up with all her pouting and pissy antics.

And if its the papz pissing her off, the bitch needs to move to Montana, it would be a pretty win win situation.  She would be paparazzi-free, and we wouldn’t have to see her just-sucked-on-a-lemon bitch face.  But that will never happen, because ALL these celebs are full of shit when it comes to the papz.  They could easily avoid the papz by moving to low key areas (Tom Cruise did!) but they all choose to gather in a cluster fuck we call Hollywood, that also happens to be filled with papz.  Does it make since to you???   Its like moving to Mexico and bitching when you get there that people speak spanish!

Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 2 Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 3 Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 4 Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 5 Jessica Alba is miserable and pregnant 6

   
TAGS: Jessica Alba, Moody BITCH, Pictures Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 18

WTF Amy Winehouse? WTF!

Published in Amy Winehouse, Did you see this shit?, Drugs BITCH by The Head Bitch | 0 comments
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 Amy Winehouse looking a complete drugged up mess

Dear Amy Winehosue,

What the fuck happened to your face?  Its not looking very well at all.  Please wash, rinse, repeat, rinse and repeat again.

xoxo

THB

   
TAGS: Amy Winehouse, Did you see this shit?, Drugs BITCH Permalink 0 comments
 


Mar 18

The clip of Britney Spears on How I Met Your Mother is finally here!

Published in Britney Spears, Videos by The Head Bitch | one comment
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Although, its just a teaser, its pretty much what I expected. A Britney still looking less than her best, being put into stupid roles where her lines include “Can we have sex and then go shopping?”. Which is kind of funny, because, I am pretty sure thats the exact thing I heard her say to Adnan!

But for reals, can someone get my bitch some decent roles and some good shampoo!!!!

   
TAGS: Britney Spears, Videos Permalink one comment
 


Mar 18

Colin Farrell is tapping THIS fug monster!?!?!

Published in Colin Farrell, Fug BITCH by The Head Bitch | 3 comments »
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Lily Cole is a fug monster

Sure he is an angry drunk who has waaaaay to much testosterone pumping, and way too big of eyebrows, but even so, he manages to be fairly hot. But what does he do with said sexiness you ask??? Oh you know, he waste the sexy on some fug monster ginger named Lily Cole who is only 19, much younger than Colin’s 31.

And to all you ladies who compare yourself to these model bitches in the magazines, take a good luck at that fug monster above, and then click here to see what they try to convince you she looks like in mags! Its AMAZING and disturbing what can be done with airbrushing and anorexia!

Continue reading…

   
TAGS: Colin Farrell, Fug BITCH Permalink 3 comments »
 


Mar 15